FROM THE EDITOR
GreetingÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s ladies and gents. As you may already all know me, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m Ruggiero Tuscarella and here to publish Mafia Times for all of you. Lately I have got few letters from our readers, who complain about our publishing, by that I mean the time, once per week. Some of them saying that we should publish more often and some saying once per two week. Well dear readers, here is my oppinion, if you want that this paper would be published more than one time per week, start writing me stories. Everything is welcomed.
But ok, on with the newsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
HIGH RANKED MOBSTER DEAD
A famous and brutal mobster so-called EL_MNTED was killed on July 21st at 06:56 am in New York. We heard a rumours that there was a price for his head and eventually someone killed him. Since New York is controlled by Godfather Tony S, we believe that his the one who is behind this assassination, but weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re not 100 percent sure.
We got an appointment with Godfather Tony S and this is what he answered to us:
Ã¢â‚¬Å¾GreetingÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Mr.Tuscarella, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m honored youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re here. Well what I got to say about EL_MNTED death? Nothing. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve got many complainings about him killing innocent people just for fun. And since everybody know my policy about killing, then someone had to sort it out. I told him a long time ago, not to kill for no reason, but he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t listened to me and now he got what he deserved.Ã¢â‚¬Å“
After the interview with Godfather Tony S, I walked out the Mansion, where Godfather lived and walked back to my Office. I started to think.. maybe EL_MNTED really deserved that?
CRIME FAMILY BOSS KILLED
Mr. Five_Finger_Jon, Boss of Landstrom crew was killed on 21 of July at 08:56 am. Exactly 2 hours after big assassination in New York. At this point when our reporters wrote this thread, nobody knew exactly why crew leader was killed. But after few hours investigation, the local Police Department Chief Mr. Callagher told us, that the assassination took place in Texas and that Mr. Five_Finger_Jon was shot to death with a .38 calibre gun. He also stated that nobody is arrested at the moment, but they do have a few stripes to pull.
GODFATHER STEPS DOWN
Our very first Godfather, called Bronco_Joe, announced today that he will step down and return back to the civilian public life.
This is what he stated on the streets: Ã¢â‚¬Å“ Yes, I’ve decided to return to the civilian public life in order to help our states and cities better. I seriously need to work on the infrastructure of our cities and help every single soul I can. I’m an old old man, with lots of things to do for people just like you.
And yes: I was the first Godfather…Ã¢â‚¬Å“
We wish good luck and best wishes to our first Godfather in his life.
UNEMPLOYMENT HITS RECORD HIGH
Government officials yesterday reluctantly announced that unemployment figures across the US have hit a record high. With more and more immigrants pouring in from the East, the economy has been pushed to breaking point, with employers favouring hiring the immigrants as they can pay them as little as a quarter of what they would pay an average American.
With the unemployment so rife, citizens have been more inclined to turn to crime to earn their wage, with street gangs and organized Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Mob familiesÃ¢â‚¬Å“ on the rise. Crime rates are reaching a new peak, and with prohibition forcing the trade in illegal alcohol, Police are fearing they will be outnumbered by at least 3 to 1 by the end of the year by crime families setting up Ã¢â‚¬Å¾speakeasysÃ¢â‚¬Å“ and other illegal operations.
Many upstanding members of communities across the country are calling to the government to reconsider prohibition, especially at a time where job opportunities are at a record low. The boost that the return of the alcohol industry would bring could very well save the country, they claim.
ANIMAL CHAOS IN NY ZOO ESCAPE
Chaos was unleashed across the city of New York yesterday when Zookeepers accidentally unleashed most of the animals from the zoo. Broadway was brought to a standstill with monkeys flinging excrement at passing motorists and pedestrians, and Police reported several of their vehicles were destroyed when a rhinoceros became trapped in their car pool.
A man was savaged in Central Park as three lions rampaged through the area, destroying four park benches, a park warden reported. The manÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s condition is described as serious, but stable.
Two Police officers cornered a brown bear on 5th Avenue, but had to shoot it dead after it bit clean through the arm of a bystander. Zoo officials are yet to comment at how this catastrophe came about, but it is believed from sources inside the Zoo that several of the keepers were intoxicated whilst celebrating one of their birthdays, and let the animals out for a practical joke.
As yet, there are no reported fatalities, but the injury toll is still rising.