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The killing spree, oh the deamons we

January 13, 2012 by Reporter in

The killing spree, oh the deamons we

This new year there was certainly alot of gunpowder. Only a week into 2012 and we have already had serial killers striking random victims, betrayal among siblings, disloyal capos taught respect, ghost sightings, and of course; the predictable failure of a revolution.

*Joe King’s ghost sighted!*
In the Badfellas di Corleone back alley there appears to be a post by the families former boss, a month and a half after he died. Ghosts of other former member were also sighted, as present family members found this very amusing. We would call Ghost Hunters if that show wasn’t so terrible.

On a more serious note, the serial killer known as The_Killer__ went on a killing spree taking out Corleone associates _Ryder_ and Anthony_V_Corleone, before a Corleone boss witnessed the killing and killed The Killer. In a somewhat related story, Badfellas di Corleone has once again risen to become the biggest family topping over thirty members, despite the recent death of capo -_-ToNy-_- who had pissed off a lot of people in the past and present.

*CORLEONE REACHES TWO YEARS*
The Corleone Crime Family, the oldest and biggest family is now two years old. Starting off as one, it is now 22 families in size.

Finally in an unimportant note, the revolutionary group and WWF impersonators known as New World Order have failed at an attempt to take over American Mafia. Their revolutionary activities included: killing random thugs, holdingmafia-killings inactives ransom, pissing people off, and of course; trash talking! They were all wiped out and there was much rejoicing.

Edited and written by Joe D Foster

Sonny Black

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

Diaz & some other guys.

Diaz walks into his apartment and sees his room mate, Rocco on the computer then Diaz walks to him and says ”What are you doing?”
”I’m making a facebook account” Says Rocco as he is looking on other peoples profiles and then goes on to the profile of Mickey and in the description it has: I like cauliflour, ****ing windows, picking my nose and wiping my finger under the chair, and as you can see by my profile piscture my nob is five foot six. ”I didnt know that about Mickey” Says Diaz. ”Anyway, are you ready?”
”What for?”
”We are going out with Mickey”
”Oh yeah I forgot”
”You wanker, get ready and lets go”

*    *    *

Micky, Diaz & Rocco are on the subway train at night and there is no one in the carriage except them. ”Micky, why have you got a picture of your **** on your facebook page?” Says Diaz
”For the girls hahahahaha” Says Micky
”Why dont you put your face aswell?”
”ID theft, you got to be carefull these days”
Micky, Diaz & Rocco get off the train and they are walking up the stairs and there is a woman walking down the stairs and then when she sees them she turns around and walks the other way then Micky, Diaz & Rocco run after her shouting ”WHERE NOT ATTACKERS, WE ARENT GONNA HURT YOU!”
Then the woman starts running away from them as she gets her phone out and calls the police.

*    *    *

Micky, Diaz & Rocco are in the police station sat on a bench wearing handcuffs then Diaz says ”Well this ****s!”

Created and written by Sonny Black

BABAM goes BAM!

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

BABAM goes BAM!

California knows how to party, which is where BABAM headed to after leaving the Corleone House Painters and his old boss behind. BABAM22 – former right hand man to Sonny-Black, had finished off a random killing spree and after days laying low, he came forward and confessed to the murder of both some_hobo – associated with Joe D Foster’s crew, and Veritas – one of the only remaining members of the Bloodline empire. After making peace with Joe D, he agreed to begin working for him. Unfortunatly BABAM was found dead in California, compliments of Mr. Black. The walls were certainly red.

Gunshots

Apart from the awesome title, this story isn’t really worth an entire article. So, instead we bring you some exclusive Paulie-Gulteari sightings!

Sonny-Black: Yes, I even made contact. I said he was a guinea prick and then he called me a faggot. So, he tried to attack me, but i threw a can of coke at his head, then he ran of into a cave, probably where he is hiding.
-_-ToNy-_-: Yup, I have busted him out of federal jail too. I even messaged with him.
Sonny__Corleone: Yeah, I think he was in New York.
_Ryder_: Yeah, yesterday.
Anthony_V_Corleone: Yeah, I have 3 times.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster

Mafia Mini News

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

BREAKING NEWS! AM Times has absolutly nothing to report on! So instead we bring you news-minis, because it’s been awhile since my lasy story and I need to fill a page. Enjoy:

*AM Wars – Episode VI: Return of the Joe D
Joe D Foster – son of Joe King, has risen to take his father’s place as Capo di Tutti Capi of Nevada and his chair in the AMFU council. The Corleone branch, Badfellas – formally run by Joe sr and now by Joe jr, is also rising member by member in an attempt to expand bigger than ever before.

*THE OLD ONE HAS AWAKEN!
In the past few days there have been multiple Paulie-Gulteari sightings reported. Many believe this creature to be a myth, but following the footage provided by an anonymous camper who aparently spotted the Paulie-Gulteari in the woods, zoologists across the country have started a full scale investigation. Bigfoot, Mothman, the Chupacabra and now the Paulie-Gulteari.


*Cult of Personality
We have all heard of Sonny-Black’s reputation for being an angry bastard. His insults and threats make him the guy for the job as enforcer for the Corleones. However, recently rumours have spread about Sonny’s plan to kill everyone. A guy called Fat_Sal, who wishes to remain anonymous, made up these intentions and told them to active mafiosos. Why is this mentally disturbed man/woman/thing spreading rumours that any sane person would ignore? Why is he trying to build up Sonny’s reputation for him?

Thanks for reading and don’t kill yourself. The next article will be better than this. I swear it!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster.

Our previous President of the USA

December 30, 2011 by Reporter in

Hello people of America, this is story of one of greatest people of America, the story of the previous President, Igor the beast.

 

Igor was born in poor neighborhood, in the city of Oklahoma where he spent his early years. As a young boy he had a bad temperament and easy to get mad, so he fought often. One day he got into fight with black guy from his hood, when Igor got that mad and he beaten him up almost to death, that’s when he got his nickname “the beast”.

 

Igor was punished and sent to a home for juvenile delinquents where he spent two years, when he got out of there he was like a new man, not to easy to provoke any longer. After he was released back into society, he decided to make something out of himself and while his friends have been selling dope, Igor decided that his life will go different way, so when he was 18, he left for Europe to study, but he always wanted to come back to Oklahoma as somebody.

 

He spent a few years in Rome, Italy,  where he studied and then he came back to Oklahoma and succeeded to win the state elections to become the State Cardinal, but he never even dreamed how far he will go. As the Cardinal of Oklahoma, some shady characters approached him to ask for favors, which he used in his advantage thinking that will help him to run in the elections for the President of USA, with support of “Big guys” from the Corleone Crime Family and their alliances, Igor become President.

 

People started to love Igor, he won three consecutive Presidency mandates and he is already for long time president of America, there were some rumors that Igor is connected to mafia but that was never proven , so in our eyes our president, Igor is clean as he stated. As the President he helped develop and enhance the American economy and improved life in America for all the citizens and the residents of our country.

 

Will Igor win the fourth presidential mandate as well? Lets see if he’s powerful enough to be the  President of the United States of America. for the fifth time.

 

The Secretary of State announced the elections will take place soon as the Election Office is gathering all the information about the candidates. Some inside voice think to believe the Elections will start within the next two months, or as fast as within a month.

American Mafia Wars

December 29, 2011 by Reporter in

Bite-size articles

BREAKING NEWS! AM Times has absolutely nothing to report on! So instead we bring you news-minis, because it’s been awhile since my last story and I need to fill a page. Enjoy:

*AM Wars – Episode VI: Return of the Joe D
Joe D Foster – son of Joe King, has risen to take his father’s place as Capo di Tutti Capi of Nevada and his chair in the AMFU council. The Corleone branch, Badfellas – formally run by Joe sr and now by Joe jr, is also rising member by member in an attempt to expand bigger than ever before.

*THE OLD ONE HAS AWAKEN!
In the past few days there have been multiple Paulie-Gulteari sightings reported. Many believe this creature to be a myth, but following the footage provided by an anonymous camper who aparently spotted the Paulie-Gulteari in the woods, zoologists across the country have started a full scale investigation. Bigfoot, Mothman, the Chupacabra and now the Paulie-Gulteari.

*Cult of Personality
We have all heard of Sonny-Black’s reputation for being an angry bastard. His insults and threats make him the guy for the job as enforcer for the Corleones. However, recently rumours have spread about Sonny’s plan to kill everyone. A guy called Fat_Sal, who wishes to remain anonymous, made up these intentions and told them to active Mafiosos. Why is this mentally disturbed man/woman/thing spreading rumours that any sane person would ignore? Why is he trying to build up Sonny’s reputation for him?

Thanks for reading and don’t kill yourself. The next article will be better than this. I swear it!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster.

Murder spree is anyone safe?

December 23, 2011 by Reporter in

Murder spree is anyone safe?

With the recent mafioso’s turned cowboys and rats, one can only wonder: is anyone safe? Over the past few days there has been murders, attempted murders, lies and deceit in this thing of ours and it comes with who can you trust can you even see your own underboss, or is he gonna whack you out to get his shot at glory?

With this all happening, all the high ranking mafioso hired additional bodyguards and improving their defenses by going to the local Marketplace. Everybody wants to keep safe and not have a new pair of cement shoes for the holiday. When will this settle down? Who knows, but until then, I will stay on high alert for these rats and cowboys.

Thoughts from GoodFellas_.

Sonny Black – Bloody night

December 19, 2011 by Reporter in

The Underboss and a Crew Member in one night!

Sonny Black, the Don of the Corleone House Painters had a shootout in a bar, in his hometown of Michigan. Sonny was having a drink in the bar, when a member of his family walked in and pointed a gun to his head, Sonny reacted quickly and hit the gun out of the assassins hand and grabbed onto the nearest object, which happened to be a bottle of whiskey and started bashing his head in. When Sonny finished hitting him, he noticed it was a crew member of his family, Frank Gotti. Sonny then pulled out his gun and shot Gotti to death. Meanwhile, Paulie Verro, his Underboss was outside in a car waiting for Frank, after the gunshots, Paulie ran inside to see if Frank killed him, but then saw Sonny with a gun in his hand, before Paulie could get his gun out Sonny had aimed his gun at him and then shot him six times, once in each eye, once to his head, and then three times in the torso.

After that, Sonny went to Nevada and found Paulie’s son, Tony Verro. Sonny killed Tony and then went into hiding, the FBI agents found him a week later in a motel. Sonny is now on Death Row, but many think he will be busted out.

Ahh, the good ole times in the American Mafia.

From good kid to GoodFellas

December 17, 2011 by Reporter in

The story of GoodFellas starts like this. His father was whacked out early a mere associate in a family. When he got back he found his father dead , saddened GoodFellas went off to start his life of crime. When he met a man named Al–Capone, a man who had said to lead the shooting on his father, GoodFellas worked his way up to become a Crew Leader in his family and was growing stronger by the day. He was then approached by BrunoTattaglia, the son of Leo-Dicap his fathers former boss. Goodfellas then went off and became Bruno’s RHM and eventually branched off after working his way up to Capo Di Tutti Capi remaining Bruno’s RHM. GoodFellas became stronger and he eventually became a Wise Old Man and as Bruno became interested in other businesses, GoodFellas made his own Empire The Outfit, but the greatest moment was when he was approached by his brother the great Michael__Corleone offering him a spot in the AMFU and the position of godfather of new jersey.

The story continues as GoodFellas is now running Murder, Inc., a hit squad to be feared by those against the AMFU and also collecting millions of dollars a day from his many casinos.

A Job to Die For

December 16, 2011 by Reporter in

Over the years, American citizens have witnessed the worst assassinations in the country’s history. From former President Kill_Me being killed in April, 2008 to Governor New_Kid_In_Town being killed in the month of March in 2010. People who tend to go for these high positions are called risk takers who wish for that hot spotlight in return for a hot bullet in their head after gaining that desired position.

 

Looking back at March 20, 2010. The killing of Gov. New_Guy_In_Town shook everyone’s world to the core. A former school teach, Jessica Smith, was quoted saying “If the Governor isn’t safe, who is these days?”.  In the same month, FBI Director Trevor17 was shot 7 times with an AK47. But the most brutal slaying of a political official was in May 2011 to Governor Cow_Girl in Nevada. She was shot right after she won the election and was sworn into office.

 

So who has the balls to risk their lives in next upcoming election? Is it worth your life to have your name recognized faster on your tomb stone as a political figure or to be known for awhile as a respected Mobster?

Submitted by Frank_Pentangeli.

Who is is Frank_Pentangeli? He explains:
“I was born in Partinico, a small town outside of Palermo, Sicily. I then immigrated to New York, United States where I became good friends with Bocephes1971. Shortly after, I was initiated into the Corleone Family. After being initiated into the family, I was placed as a Capo in both Bocephes1971 and then Joe_D_Foster’s families.

Soon I was given the privileged by GoodFellas_ of holding the position as a Capo in Murder Inc.

Shortly after ranking in the Corleone Family, I was given the position as Consigliere for Joe_D_Foster’s operations for the Corleone family, Badfellas di Corleone.”

Will the unemployed go to hell?

December 8, 2011 by Reporter in

It would seem the unemployment levels are at an all time high, as seen by the number of citizens that stay inactive. Everyone knows inactive citizens are bad for the economy, however many extremist groups – believed to be apart of the mafia, have taken measures to their own hands by launching a full scale assault on those inactives. The United States Fedaral Jail is filling up and emptying rapidly once again.

Sonny-Black – a notable face in the killing spree, had this to say: It’s ****ing great. I’m gonna be working for my waste management company a lot more.

This isn’t the first time the American Mafia have declared war of inactive citizens. Many times in the past, the killing sprees have flooded the streets. The killing expands all the way across america from New York to California. The acitve citizen, however are said to be safe.

Edited and Written by: Joe_D_Foster