Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No its TheRuthlessKing and KevinK in tights?
There have been reports of TheRuthlessKing and his sidekick, KevinK, running around in tights pretending to be superheros. Our phones have been ringing none stop with people telling us about the pair walking up to criminals and glove slapping them. One witness said they tried to stop a robbery when the robber pulled out a gun and shot Kevin in the a**. His wound healed quickly, becoming a world class table tennis champ while in recovery, with TheRuthlessKing not leaving his side. When Kevin was healthy they got right back into the tights not wasting any time. If you see these men on the streets do not approach them, you will get an eye full of camel toe which will scar you for life.
Superman Joke
Superman was terribly bored with fighting crime, so one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun for a change.
He dropped by Batman’s house. Hey Batman, he said. Wanna go out tonight?
No, I can’t, replied Batman. The Batmobile is broken and I gotta’ stay home and fix it, or else I won’t be able to fight crime.
You loser, said Superman, and he flew away in disgust.
He then decided to stop by Spiderman’s house. Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me, he said.
I’d love to, but I can’t, replied Spiderman. My web-slinger is jammed and I gotta fix it in order to fight crime.
Superman, all disgusted, quipped: You loser. Go ahead–stay home on a Friday night and fix your damned web-slinger.
He again flew away.
While flying around the city looking for something to do, his super vision spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back, stark naked and spread-eagle!
Superman thought, Hey, I’m Superman, so I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and she’ll never know the difference!
Wonder Woman said, What the hell was that?
The Invisible Man said, I don’t know, but it hurt like hell!
Mafia Joke
The mafia had an opening for a hit man . After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.
For the final test, the mafia agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . kill her!!
The man said, You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.
The agent said, Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.
The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
This gun is loaded with blanks she said. I had to beat him to death with the damn chair.
Its time to cast your vote America, to mug or not to mug. There is a new poll to see if members will be able to mug each other. If you would like to cast a vote go to News > Polls and cast. Also there is a tread in the Admins Forum where you can personally state your opinion.
Its time to start stocking up on those chips everyone because poker is back and its right at your door step. Gather up a few friends, grab a few beers and have a bit of friendly competition. Or if your like me and want to play for the glory and fame there is a leader board that shows the top 15 players. If you want to play poker just go to Gamble > Poker and then all you need to do is start playing.
The tabloid is now up and running again. If you have any jokes or stories send them to me and they will be put in. They jokes don’t have to be mafia related and the stories don’t have to be true. So get writing America.
Look out for the next edition of the AM Times, hitting the shelves in a weeks time.
Till next time America.
LexiRae – Head Editor of the American Mafia Times