BREAKING NEWS! AM Times has absolutly nothing to report on! So instead we bring you news-minis, because it’s been awhile since my lasy story and I need to fill a page. Enjoy:
*AM Wars – Episode VI: Return of the Joe D
Joe D Foster – son of Joe King, has risen to take his father’s place as Capo di Tutti Capi of Nevada and his chair in the AMFU council. The Corleone branch, Badfellas – formally run by Joe sr and now by Joe jr, is also rising member by member in an attempt to expand bigger than ever before.
*THE OLD ONE HAS AWAKEN!
In the past few days there have been multiple Paulie-Gulteari sightings reported. Many believe this creature to be a myth, but following the footage provided by an anonymous camper who aparently spotted the Paulie-Gulteari in the woods, zoologists across the country have started a full scale investigation. Bigfoot, Mothman, the Chupacabra and now the Paulie-Gulteari.
*Cult of Personality
We have all heard of Sonny-Black’s reputation for being an angry bastard. His insults and threats make him the guy for the job as enforcer for the Corleones. However, recently rumours have spread about Sonny’s plan to kill everyone. A guy called Fat_Sal, who wishes to remain anonymous, made up these intentions and told them to active mafiosos. Why is this mentally disturbed man/woman/thing spreading rumours that any sane person would ignore? Why is he trying to build up Sonny’s reputation for him?
Thanks for reading and don’t kill yourself. The next article will be better than this. I swear it!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster.