Sorry for the late edition folks but you know how controlling kross_ gets ; ) but its time for another edition of the AM Times and its been another silent week in America as of late but we know there is no such thing as silence in the mafia world.
Corleone Crime Family
The Corleone Crime Family, originally run by Don__Vito, now run by Mr_Xela, is the only original family left. With almost 60 members, 2 Godfathers and 1 Don they are the strongest family in America but also respected. The Corleones are also one of the founding members of the AMFU, American Mafia Families Union, the largest Union every created in America. The Corleones are a family that are strong believers in peace and unity. Mr_Xela was the mentor of now famous Benny__Noodles, Godfather of the Gambino Crime Family and New York with quotes from Noodles saying, that he will be in an alliance with Xela for life and he has the most respect for X and the Corleones. I think that goes for many other people, past and present. KevinK, the Corleones right hand man, said, Xela has helped me from day one, teaching me the ropes and still giving me advice, thats probably the same story for many other people as well.
Thugs Killings Boom
Lately the amount of thugs being killed has skyrocketed, the cemetary is full of unknown, unclaimed bodies. These killings have been happening all over America, there have only been a few states not hit by this wave of murder. There is no one family or person to blame for these killings but what we do know is that no thug is safe. The main cities hit are California, Michigan, Nevada, Oklahoma and a few cases in Florida and Texas so thugs, try to avoid these cities at all costs. We wont to know why. Is it for rank? Is it to clear the streets? I guess we will never know. Here at the AM Times we do not condone killing but we know there is no stopping the killers so please try and reduce the amount of innocent souls you take.
Interview With A Governor
Thank you for sitting down with me Governor PurpleHighlighter. How does it feel to be Governor of Nevada?
Thanks for dragging me out of bed for this Lexi : ). Its ok I guess, it can get boring sometimes but yellow is a pretty colour so im happy to stay.
What do you think of all the inactive killings lately?
As long as the killing stays out of Nevada im fine with it. Nevada is a place for getting drunk, loosing all your money gambling and trying to explain it to your partner the next day, not killing.
Will you continue to be Governor?
As long as the people of Nevada are willing to have me I am happy to stay. A quote I think goes well with this, people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you’re signed up for a season, see it through. You don’t have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through.
What do you say to your opponent for the up coming election, CWhite?
I wish him the best of luck, if he is right for the job then he is more then welcome to have it.
And lastly what do you think of the AMFU?
I think it was a great idea to come up with the AMFU, it reduces killings and gives new players a chance to learn the ropes and rank up. But it also creates boredom, with no one to kill there isn’t much to do.
Thanks again for doing the interview with me, you can go back to bed now.
Thanks Lex.
Cemetary Report
A Wiseguy from the Gambino Family Trish has died on the 28-04-2010. No one has any leads yet, this has been a popular theme for many killings lately.
Another member of the Gambino Family has died. A Capo named MR_MAN attacked yours truly, don’t worry im perfectly fine, causing me to take action and kill him on the spot. We earlier found out that his father was, TREVO_THE_BOY, killed for also attacking a member without permission (it must run in the family).
Gambino must be the flavour of the month for the killers as yet another family member was killed. A Goomba John-Gotti was also attacking without permission. These killings were probably a result of the absence of family leader Benny__Noodles, now back on the scene and I think I can speak for Benny when I say these will stop.
Joke Of The Week
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
What were you thinkin?
Joke submitted by paraphilia
Chamber Of Commerce Top Business Owners
LexiRae 5
Mr_Xela 5
thunder 5
Benny__Noodles 5
somehobo606 3
kid-blasto 2
kross_ 1
Don’t forget to read the new edition of the Tabloid. Don’t miss me too much America, till next time.