Latest Posts

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No its TheRuthlessKing and KevinK in tights?

There have been reports of TheRuthlessKing and his sidekick, KevinK, running around in tights pretending to be superheros. Our phones have been ringing none stop with people telling us about the pair walking up to criminals and glove slapping them. One witness said they tried to stop a robbery when the robber pulled out a gun and shot Kevin in the a**. His wound healed quickly, becoming a world class table tennis champ while in recovery, with TheRuthlessKing not leaving his side. When Kevin was healthy they got right back into the tights not wasting any time. If you see these men on the streets do not approach them, you will get an eye full of camel toe which will scar you for life.

Superman Joke

Superman was terribly bored with fighting crime, so one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun for a change.

He dropped by Batman’s house. Hey Batman, he said. Wanna go out tonight?

No, I can’t, replied Batman. The Batmobile is broken and I gotta’ stay home and fix it, or else I won’t be able to fight crime.

You loser, said Superman, and he flew away in disgust.

He then decided to stop by Spiderman’s house. Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me, he said.

I’d love to, but I can’t, replied Spiderman. My web-slinger is jammed and I gotta fix it in order to fight crime.

Superman, all disgusted, quipped: You loser. Go ahead–stay home on a Friday night and fix your damned web-slinger.

He again flew away.

While flying around the city looking for something to do, his super vision spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back, stark naked and spread-eagle!

Superman thought, Hey, I’m Superman, so I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and she’ll never know the difference!

Wonder Woman said, What the hell was that?

The Invisible Man said, I don’t know, but it hurt like hell!

Mafia Joke

The mafia had an opening for a hit man . After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the mafia agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . kill her!!

The man said, You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.

The agent said, Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.

The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

This gun is loaded with blanks she said. I had to beat him to death with the damn chair.

Its time to cast your vote America, to mug or not to mug. There is a new poll to see if members will be able to mug each other. If you would like to cast a vote go to News > Polls and cast. Also there is a tread in the Admins Forum where you can personally state your opinion.

Its time to start stocking up on those chips everyone because poker is back and its right at your door step. Gather up a few friends, grab a few beers and have a bit of friendly competition. Or if your like me and want to play for the glory and fame there is a leader board that shows the top 15 players. If you want to play poker just go to Gamble > Poker and then all you need to do is start playing.

The tabloid is now up and running again. If you have any jokes or stories send them to me and they will be put in. They jokes don’t have to be mafia related and the stories don’t have to be true. So get writing America.

Look out for the next edition of the AM Times, hitting the shelves in a weeks time.

Till next time America.

LexiRae – Head Editor of the American Mafia Times

Welcome beautiful people to another edition of the AM Times. Yes it has been a while but here at the AM Times head quarters we have been working our butts off trying to follow up on all of these recent murders. But we shall waste no more time, for your reading pleasure, we have got for you a long list of names in the cemetery report, an interview with Mr_Xela and a whole lot more.

The Life and Death of Benny__Noodles

Benny__Noodles was born in Brooklyn, New York, as an only child in a single parent household. With his father leaving when he was 5 and his mother working 2 jobs Benny was left to raise himself on the harsh streets of Brooklyn. Benny joined the mafia when he was nineteen as an associate in the DAVE you legend family, run by Gelateria, where he quickly climbed the ranks and when he turned 22 was quick start his own family, The Gambino Crime Family. Bennys family was slow to start off, with no new recruits coming into the mafia and those who did were killed but Benny kept at it, putting in long hours to make his family bigger and to reach Godfather. At the age of 26 Noodles reached godfather where the only thing left was to take control of New York from fellow AMFU member Constantine. There battle was at a stale mate when an unknown Godmother, medium_girl, killed Constantine and Benny killed medium_girl (see previous article). The next couple of years were calm and mellow with The Gambinos continuing to grow and prosper but there was tension brewing beneath the surface with The Corleones lead by Mr_Xela. That was when one day Godfathers Mr_Xela, KevinK and TheRuthlessKing attacked Noodles while he was on a holiday visiting his mother. Benny retaliated, both Gambinos and Corleone members losing their life in the cross fire. None of the Godfathers were hurt during the fight though their friendship was tainted with the uncertainty of one anothers trust and loyalty. After this Benny was not seen in the public eye as much as he use to, only appearing when it was critical. Noodles was ready to branch his familys name out, giving permission to his members PurpleHighlighter, Mr_Incredible and Frank_Saggio to make separate Gambino families. Benny then thought it was time to move on from the Gambinos and hand it down to his best friend, Uncle-Nicky and make a new, exclusive, family called The Bloodline Alliance. But The Blood Alliance didn’t last long as Godfather Noodles ran and won the election for New Yorks governor, leaving behind the world of crime to lead a life of politics. This did not last long though as Benny__Noodles and his mistress was found dead in his New York mansion on the 07-07-2010. No one knows anything about who killed Benny but when his son returns there will sure be hell to pay for the person who did. May his soul rest in peace as he will be gravely missed by everyone. If you have any information about these murders contact any of the AM Times staff and you will be greatly rewarded.

Killings in the Rigazzi Crime Family

Newly crowned Godfather, Lou-The-Wrench, has been facing some problems with his family recently as a couple of his high ranked members have been dying. The first Rigazzi member to die was an earner, Damon-Lanado. He was killed on the 30-06-2010 at 05:10am. No one knows who killed Damon but Lou has not stopped looking. The second Rigazzi member to die was a Boss, SeNsuur. SeNsuur was killed 8 days later on the 08-07-2010 at 04:04am. There have been rumours that thunder from The Corleone Crime Family was the man responsible for his death but nothing has been confirmed. Lou was quoted saying, im tired of this sh*t and people are gonna start dying, i dont give a sh*t whos family they are in or who the fu*k they are period. Neighbours of Lou said they heard screaming and loud smashes coming from inside his house, obviously a bit upset about these murders. If you have any information about these murders contact Lou-The-Wrench or any of the AM Times staff.

Interview with Mr_Xela

Good morning Mr_Xela, many thanks for sitting down with me and taking time to do this interview.

Good morning beautiful, it is my pleasure to spent some time with you.

Congratulations on the new Capo di tutti capi, you are the first man in history to every reach this rank. How does it feel?

Thank you… feeling is always good when you are promoted and I am glad I am the first one who reached it.

What do you think of the recent murder of Godfather Benny__Noodles?

I think its some political business, as we know benny become governor and I guess his competition taked him out… Politicians are greater criminals then any other… RIP benny

What do you say to the claims that you are behind his and the rest of the Gambinos murders?

Do I have to be behind every murder? No I dont… I am just a decent man who help this country to be better.

Are you worried that yours and other families members might be killed in retaliation?

No I dont worry, all of familys are friendly now,  so there shouldnt be any war… and this way I want to send my regards to them…

And do you have any plans for the future?

Yes I plan to take you out on a drink, after this interview. 😉

Thanks again for sitting down with me but i wont take up anymore of your time, good luck with your family.

It was my pleasure as I already said and I wouldnt mind to spent any of my time with you. Thanks on your wishes and good luck to you too.

Cemetery Report

There are many new names in the cemetery since the last edition and there is not enough room to do them all so we will go from page 4.

A wiseguy Tazz, a former governor and member of the Gambino family, was found dead in an Oklahoma park on the 27-06-2010. Tazz had not been seen in many months, no one knowing why. His killer is unknown.

A capo and former family leader MndSlfIndulgence killed on the 02-07-2010 in Colorado. She was killed by Lou-The-Wrench for insulting him and calling him white trash.

Another capo and family member of the Monster Alliance –shooter-2 was found dead in a bed of cocaine in his Oklahoma home. His killer has not been found as of yet but if you have any information contact kross_.

A Don from The Corleone Crime Family was found dead in Oklahoma on the 04-07-2010. Xela and the Corleones want information about his murder so if you know anything contact anyone from their family.

Skuxx, an earner from The Gambino Syndicate of Nevada, was killed in California on the 05-07-2010. The killer has not been found yet but if you have any information contact PurpleHighlighter.

An unknown earner, FistACuffs, was killed in New York as of late. FistACuffs was killed by Paulie-Goateare for reportedly being a dupe of Godfather_Makky.

The next name in the cemetery is Benny__Noodles wife, MrsNataliaNoodles09. She was killed in Illinois 1 day after Bennys death, some say it was a Monster Alliance member paraphilia that killed her and others say she was depressed from the recent death of her husband.

The new boss of the Gambino Crime Family, Uncle-Nicky, was found dead at the same place as Natalia just an hour later. The late Paulie-Goateare witnessed paraphilia, the same person accused of killing Natalia, killing Nicky.

Yet another Gambino member killed is an earner, bombarder. Bombarder was killed in California at 11:21PM. His killer is unknown at the moment.

A capo and old member Paulie-Goateare has been found dead in a Texas bar early on the 09-07-2010. Mr-V was said to have killed Paulie, having a verbal fight with his son at his funeral.

A Consigliere from the Monster Alliance, Reborn_knight has died in New York as of late and kross_ is furious. The killer has not been found yet but if you have any information about his murder contact kross_ or any member from the Monster Alliance.

Another member, family leader of a Gambino branch and Consigliere was killed at an Oklahoma brothel at 5:41AM on the 09-07-2010. Reports have been saying that the same person behind Franks murder is the same person responsible for all the other Gambino related murders.

CWhite, a wiseguy from the Gambino Syndicate of Nevada, was killed only 4 minutes later in California. A name has not been put to the face of Whites killer yet but if you know anything contact PurpleHighlighter.

Chamber Of Commerce

Kid-blasto   5

LexiRae   5

Mr_Xela   5

Kross_   5

PurpleHighlighter   5

Amp-Bo   5

Pippi   5

TheRuthlessKing   5

Elizabeth   5

Lou-The-Wrench   5

Joe_proficani   5

Tony_Sopranos   5

Administrator   3

Somehobo606   3

-Tolly-   1

The American Mafia Newspaper by our Editor Ruggiero Tuscarella NEW YORK

WELCOMES NEW FAMILY

By R.Tuscarella

On a lovely summer afternoon, don-bugsy came forward to announce the formation of his new family ™PASTORES™.

During his statement, he spoke about finding a ranch near the banks of the Trinity River and sold his bar to purchase the ranch. With this purchase would allow his family to expand and assist in developing and enhancing the city of New York.

When asked why he chose New York, he responded,

“I chose New York in general for many reasons. One of the foremost reasoning being that generations of my family have descended from within this fine city. Both my bloodline and the city itself have a rich history and tradition with many a story of the two intertwined passed on down through the generations. Added to this I see many good opportunities as time proceeds for businesses and moneymaking in general.

Together with other Bosses around my chaotic lot will be helping New York progress into a city that people would want to visit. A safe place away from crime where people can call into the local amenities, and enjoy the social side to life.”

The American Mafia Newspaper wishes to take the time to wish the new family much luck with all of their endeavors for the future. MANY DEAD BODIES FOUND IN RECENT DAYS by R.Tuscarella On 18th of Jun at 7:24 pm, former New York Boss chugz_nicholas got killed in his apartment, when three men’s with mask’s on their faces walked in and shot many rounds into chugz body. He died in Texas.  Nobody know’s at the moment who were the killer’s or who sent them to Texas. Another high ranked member were found dead on 13th of Jun at 02:47 am, named IgnasioSalatore. He was found in Colorado, stabbed in about 55 times. The local Police Department chief didn’t answered to our call’s and we believe that this case will remain close. The next high ranked member we found in California, so-called B-D-N-O, he died on 8th of Jun at 7:13 pm. He was a Capo for a local Don, but rumours are that he screwed up a deal with one of the New York crime families and got killed because of that. HOROSCOPES

By R.TuscarellaÂ

Aries March 21-April 19

Get your people organized — because nobody else is going to do it! You’ve got to apply some of that positive mental energy to the social situation if you want to see anything get done.

Taurus April 20-May 20

You’re feeling kind of left behind by some trend or idea that just doesn’t appeal to you — but thing should revert to normal before long and those who jumped on the bandwagon will look a little silly.

Gemini May 21-June 21

You’re feeling mentally flexible — much more so than usual! It’s a good time to change your mind about things that seemed pretty rigid just yesterday, though others might not agree with you quite yet.

Cancer June 22-July 22

You’ve got to face up to that financial issue — it won’t ever solve itself and now brings the right kind of energy to make some progress. You may find that people are more willing to help you out.

Leo July 23-August 22

You’ve got the answer to almost any question lately and that feels great. You should try to stay humble about it, as if you get too cocky, you may find that your powers desert you when you need them most!

Virgo August 23-September 22

You’ve got to tackle the clutter in a new way — even if it’s not your own clutter! Try to offer your family some advice (or an ultimatum) and see what happens from there. Things can change for the better now!

Libra September 23-October 22

You can see into a friend or family member a bit more deeply now and that should lead to more open communication, to say the very least. It’s a great time to build bridges and move on with life.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21

You feel inspired to redo your look or redecorate your space, though you should put a bit more thought than usual into the process, especially if the inspiration is a radical departure from the past.

Sagittarius November 22-December 21

You can get along really well with your people now and it’s a great time to make plans together and see if you can dream up a few projects to work on together. Put that energy to good use!

Capricorn December 22-January 19

Now is great for incremental changes — nothing too radical, though! You may want to get a different haircut, shift responsibilities at work or take care of some light redecorating at home.

Aquarius January 20-February 18

Your hot ideas are making life brighter and better for everyone — and it’s no secret! Don’t cover your light, because false humility is the worst kind of arrogance. Make sure that you’re talking to everyone important.

Pisces February 19-March 20

It’s kind of hard to see all the aspects of your problems or projects today and focus is even harder to come by. It may be a good time to blow off obligations and wait for another time to get back in gear. The American Mafia Newspaper is now recruiting! Think you could handle a career in professional journalism? Contact Ruggiero Tuscarella for further details or drop by the head office in New York.

As of recent there has been a spike in the numbers of sentences handed out, and the amount of time sentenced, says Chicago Circuit Court Judge Dread. “The number’s of Mafioso being busted these day’s are alarming” The judge was quoted as saying “The spike in the number’s is coming from federal agencies trying to retake the streets back from organized crime.

FBI spokesman Bob Daniel’s stated that “The FBI is has launched an operation called ‘Operation Cleanup’ to rid our street’s of the evil’s of organized crime.” But the Mafioso aren’t going down without a fight either. In the past two day’s alone over fifty police officers and federal agent’s have sustained injuries attempting to arrest suspects. “The Mafioso appear to be just as determined to run the street’s as we are” stated Chicago mayor, Ben Reeves. “The increase of drug trafficking. felonies, mugging’s, petty crimes and murders have been on the rise for the past six month’s, and it’s time for the government to fight back” he also added. It has been obvious to us all the increase of bust, security at the local jails, and the length of the sentences the government is trying to prevail, but will they be able to? LETTER TO THE EDITOR:

Dear Editor,

This is an anonymous fan of the Gazette. I was walking along the streets on LA to my office and I couldn’t help but take a peek at the Gazette. I’d like to say the Gazette is so good, and an amazing read in the crapper. Keep up the good work! I’d like to remain anonymous for reasons I won’t tell you and hope it’s not a problem.

Signed,

Johnny-Walker. *Crosses Johnny-Walker out frantically and re-writes* Signed,

Anonymous extremely good looking and smart fan. CLASSIFIED ADS

Anyone wishing to submit an ad should mail it to Ruggiero_Tuscarella, Editor of the Mafia Times in New York. All ads are free.

Welcome to another edition of the AM Times. The last couple of
weeks have been very eventful : ). We have got for you a cemetery full of dead
bodies, wars, return of a legend and as always an interview followed by the
joke of the week.

Legend V.

Legend

All was silent on the once chaotic streets of down town New York
city, but suddenly, without warning the silence of the night was engulfed in a cloud of massive explosions and an iron curtain of hot lead screaming threw the Chilly midnight air!

Reports say that the fighting was brought on by the legendary Mr_Xela and his RHM
of the Corleone Crime Family. After peace was restored to New York we caught up with Benny, who was very shaken up by the whole thing saying, I had just to lay down for the night and suddenly the room exploded into flying shrapnel, why did this happen? Early the next morning Benny and his Gambino’s laid heavy fire on the retreating Corleones while Benny was duelling with twin Thompsons screaming, you f**k with me you f**k with da best!!!!!!

After there was peace between the families we found out medium_girl’s, see previous articles, son is back and was planning the destruction of these families from the beginning. Her sons return has caused uproar in the mafia world, the bosses locking down on the members they recruit into their family. Amp-Bo, a don in the Corleone Crime Family, has been looking in to medium_girl and her son, Augustus, narrowing it down to a few suspects.

We will not be putting the names of the suspects in the AM Times due to not
enough evidence. Stay tuned for updates, we feel that this isn’t the last we
have heard of Augustus.

Story co-written by TheRuthlessKing and LexiRae

Interview With A Godfather

Thanks for sitting down with me, TheRuthlessKing. Congratulations
on reaching Godfather.

Thank you, glad to be here and see youve been working on
writing stories.

What do you think it takes to reach Godfather?

Ive told my friends hard work is the key, but all of them have
been doing that and nothing so I am not sure anymore….. it only took me a
month to make it here.

Do you think the people that are Godfathers now deserve to
have their rank?

Hell ya they do, if they did not then they would not be
godfathers. No one gives you the rank, if they do then I wasted countless hours
and im going to be pissed.

What is your view on the recent war between Benny and Xela?

To tell you the truth it was a real adrenalin rush with
a side of not wanting it to happen. But I think, this is just my opinion, but I
think after Alex died a lot of people got upset not at just Benny but
at Alex as well for the war starting over what it did. All it did was
weaken the AMFU and kill a good friend. But all so I think a lot of outburst
and threats between the families led to the fighting. Words are
stronger then a gun as we learn this from our daily lives 😉

Are you scared of the recent discovery that medium_girl’s
son is back and out for revenge?

O ya im scared s**t less about hearing she could be back… (lol)

No im not scared about hearing shes back it lets me and others get revenge for
back stabbing Alex and the back stabbing it sounds like she did to Paulie as well. Also for making the war bigger then what it had to be. I hope she shows up on our radar soon so we can lay her to rest in my handy coffin 😉

And what do you think of the AMFU and its recent state?

I think we need to change some rules in it, in the past look
at how many families where in it, look at it now….. They did not
all die of natural causes im sure. ;P (lol) If we want the AMFU to survive, we
need to fix our mistakes so it never happens again.

Thanks again for sitting down for me, good luck in the
future and get back to work 😛

Well since your holding the gun I really had no choice in sitting huh? (lol)

Thanks I planned to get back to work before my kidnapping I mean interview…..

Cemetery Report

ITS_ME was an Earner from the Corleone Crime Family. He was killed on the 09-05-2010. No one has any leads on the killer at this point.

Joker632 was a Goomba from the Gambino Crime Family that asked to be killed because he was not cut out for the life of a gangster. May his son return and make his father proud.
Silvio_Dante was a boss with his own family that was found dead on the 16-05-2010.

Silvio was killed by
paulie_goateare, Silvio was said to have been jealous of paulie and killed one
of his members.

Paulie_goateare was another family leader that was killed this
fortnight. At first no one knew who killed paulie until Augustus came forward
and he was behind the killing.

Frank__Gambino a former member of the Gambino Crime Family was the
State Governor in New York. Frank’s killer is still running free but we are
still on the lookout so if you have any information send it to any member of
the AM Times.

Joe_Bonanno and gaspare were other members of the Gambino Crime
Family to die lately. Joe and gaspare were allegedly involved in the killing of -_-xXx-_-, a close friend of Benny__Noodles and Don__Barzzini’s son.

Vito_Pagillo a Goomba from the Gambino Family, a common theme
lately, was killed due to him killing others, paybacks a b***h.

Sasin was an unknown gangster with no family. We are not sure of
his killer at this moment. Dr_weed was shot dead after attempting to kill
leader of The Monster Alliance, kross_. He also started a family without
permission.

Checo3 an Earner from the Corleone Crime family was killed on the
20-05-2010. He was accused of having a dupe, Lil_Val, which he used to hustle
people out of money.

Another family leader, Salvatore_Tommasino, was found dead
recently. He was said to be involved with medium_girl and Augustus. No one
knows exactly who killed Salvatore and im sure this will be one of those cases
no one will be able to figure out.

Joke Of
The Week

Three women die together in an
accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St.
Peter says, we only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks! So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man! The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains
them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity? The guy says, I don’t know about you,
but I stepped on a duck!

Joke

Submitted By Paige-B

Chamber Of Commerce

Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Kross_ 4

Mr_Xela 4

Somehobo606 3

Administrator 3

Kid-blasto 2

Thunder 2

-Tolly- 1

This raps up another messy fortnight in the Mafia world. The joke
of the week is still going so dont forget to send those jokes in people. Don’t
miss me to much America. Till next time.

Welcome to another edition of the AM Times. The last couple of
weeks have been very eventful : ). We have got for you a cemetery full of dead
bodies, wars, return of a legend and as always an interview followed by the
joke of the week.

Legend V.

Legend

All was silent on the once chaotic streets of down town New York
city, but suddenly, without warning the silence of the night was engulfed in a cloud of massive explosions and an iron curtain of hot lead screaming threw the Chilly midnight air!

Reports say that the fighting was brought on by the legendary Mr_Xela and his RHM
of the Corleone Crime Family. After peace was restored to New York we caught up with Benny, who was very shaken up by the whole thing saying, I had just to lay down for the night and suddenly the room exploded into flying shrapnel, why did this happen? Early the next morning Benny and his Gambino’s laid heavy fire on the retreating Corleones while Benny was duelling with twin Thompsons screaming, you f**k with me you f**k with da best!!!!!!

After there was peace between the families we found out medium_girl’s, see previous articles, son is back and was planning the destruction of these families from the beginning. Her sons return has caused uproar in the mafia world, the bosses locking down on the members they recruit into their family. Amp-Bo, a don in the Corleone Crime Family, has been looking in to medium_girl and her son, Augustus, narrowing it down to a few suspects.

We will not be putting the names of the suspects in the AM Times due to not
enough evidence. Stay tuned for updates, we feel that this isn’t the last we
have heard of Augustus.

Story co-written by TheRuthlessKing and LexiRae

Interview With A Godfather

Thanks for sitting down with me, TheRuthlessKing. Congratulations
on reaching Godfather.

Thank you, glad to be here and see youve been working on
writing stories.

What do you think it takes to reach Godfather?

Ive told my friends hard work is the key, but all of them have
been doing that and nothing so I am not sure anymore….. it only took me a
month to make it here.

Do you think the people that are Godfathers now deserve to
have their rank?

Hell ya they do, if they did not then they would not be
godfathers. No one gives you the rank, if they do then I wasted countless hours
and im going to be pissed.

What is your view on the recent war between Benny and Xela?

To tell you the truth it was a real adrenalin rush with
a side of not wanting it to happen. But I think, this is just my opinion, but I
think after Alex died a lot of people got upset not at just Benny but
at Alex as well for the war starting over what it did. All it did was
weaken the AMFU and kill a good friend. But all so I think a lot of outburst
and threats between the families led to the fighting. Words are
stronger then a gun as we learn this from our daily lives 😉

Are you scared of the recent discovery that medium_girl’s
son is back and out for revenge?

O ya im scared s**t less about hearing she could be back… (lol)

No im not scared about hearing shes back it lets me and others get revenge for
back stabbing Alex and the back stabbing it sounds like she did to Paulie as well. Also for making the war bigger then what it had to be. I hope she shows up on our radar soon so we can lay her to rest in my handy coffin 😉

And what do you think of the AMFU and its recent state?

I think we need to change some rules in it, in the past look
at how many families where in it, look at it now….. They did not
all die of natural causes im sure. ;P (lol) If we want the AMFU to survive, we
need to fix our mistakes so it never happens again.

Thanks again for sitting down for me, good luck in the
future and get back to work 😛

Well since your holding the gun I really had no choice in sitting huh? (lol)

Thanks I planned to get back to work before my kidnapping I mean interview…..

Cemetery Report

ITS_ME was an Earner from the Corleone Crime Family. He was killed on the 09-05-2010. No one has any leads on the killer at this point.

Joker632 was a Goomba from the Gambino Crime Family that asked to be killed because he was not cut out for the life of a gangster. May his son return and make his father proud.
Silvio_Dante was a boss with his own family that was found dead on the 16-05-2010.

Silvio was killed by
paulie_goateare, Silvio was said to have been jealous of paulie and killed one
of his members.

Paulie_goateare was another family leader that was killed this
fortnight. At first no one knew who killed paulie until Augustus came forward
and he was behind the killing.

Frank__Gambino a former member of the Gambino Crime Family was the
State Governor in New York. Frank’s killer is still running free but we are
still on the lookout so if you have any information send it to any member of
the AM Times.

Joe_Bonanno and gaspare were other members of the Gambino Crime
Family to die lately. Joe and gaspare were allegedly involved in the killing of -_-xXx-_-, a close friend of Benny__Noodles and Don__Barzzini’s son.

Vito_Pagillo a Goomba from the Gambino Family, a common theme
lately, was killed due to him killing others, paybacks a b***h.

Sasin was an unknown gangster with no family. We are not sure of
his killer at this moment. Dr_weed was shot dead after attempting to kill
leader of The Monster Alliance, kross_. He also started a family without
permission.

Checo3 an Earner from the Corleone Crime family was killed on the
20-05-2010. He was accused of having a dupe, Lil_Val, which he used to hustle
people out of money.

Another family leader, Salvatore_Tommasino, was found dead
recently. He was said to be involved with medium_girl and Augustus. No one
knows exactly who killed Salvatore and im sure this will be one of those cases
no one will be able to figure out.

Joke Of
The Week

Three women die together in an
accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St.
Peter says, we only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks! So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man! The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains
them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity? The guy says, I don’t know about you,
but I stepped on a duck!

Joke

Submitted By Paige-B

Chamber Of Commerce

Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Kross_ 4

Mr_Xela 4

Somehobo606 3

Administrator 3

Kid-blasto 2

Thunder 2

-Tolly- 1

This raps up another messy fortnight in the Mafia world. The joke
of the week is still going so dont forget to send those jokes in people. Don’t
miss me to much America. Till next time.

Sorry for the late edition folks but you know how controlling kross_ gets ; ) but its time for another edition of the AM Times and its been another silent week in America as of late but we know there is no such thing as silence in the mafia world.

Corleone Crime Family

The Corleone Crime Family, originally run by Don__Vito, now run by Mr_Xela, is the only original family left. With almost 60 members, 2 Godfathers and 1 Don they are the strongest family in America but also respected. The Corleones are also one of the founding members of the AMFU, American Mafia Families Union, the largest Union every created in America. The Corleones are a family that are strong believers in peace and unity. Mr_Xela was the mentor of now famous Benny__Noodles, Godfather of the Gambino Crime Family and New York with quotes from Noodles saying, that he will be in an alliance with Xela for life and he has the most respect for X and the Corleones. I think that goes for many other people, past and present. KevinK, the Corleones right hand man, said, Xela has helped me from day one, teaching me the ropes and still giving me advice, thats probably the same story for many other people as well.

Thugs Killings Boom

Lately the amount of thugs being killed has skyrocketed, the cemetary is full of unknown, unclaimed bodies. These killings have been happening all over America, there have only been a few states not hit by this wave of murder. There is no one family or person to blame for these killings but what we do know is that no thug is safe. The main cities hit are California, Michigan, Nevada, Oklahoma and a few cases in Florida and Texas so thugs, try to avoid these cities at all costs. We wont to know why. Is it for rank? Is it to clear the streets? I guess we will never know. Here at the AM Times we do not condone killing but we know there is no stopping the killers so please try and reduce the amount of innocent souls you take.

Interview With A Governor

Thank you for sitting down with me Governor PurpleHighlighter. How does it feel to be Governor of Nevada?

Thanks for dragging me out of bed for this Lexi : ). Its ok I guess, it can get boring sometimes but yellow is a pretty colour so im happy to stay.

What do you think of all the inactive killings lately?

As long as the killing stays out of Nevada im fine with it. Nevada is a place for getting drunk, loosing all your money gambling and trying to explain it to your partner the next day, not killing.

Will you continue to be Governor?

As long as the people of Nevada are willing to have me I am happy to stay. A quote I think goes well with this, people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you’re signed up for a season, see it through. You don’t have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through.

What do you say to your opponent for the up coming election, CWhite?

I wish him the best of luck, if he is right for the job then he is more then welcome to have it.

And lastly what do you think of the AMFU?

I think it was a great idea to come up with the AMFU, it reduces killings and gives new players a chance to learn the ropes and rank up. But it also creates boredom, with no one to kill there isn’t much to do.

Thanks again for doing the interview with me, you can go back to bed now.

Thanks Lex.

Cemetary Report

A Wiseguy from the Gambino Family Trish has died on the 28-04-2010. No one has any leads yet, this has been a popular theme for many killings lately.

Another member of the Gambino Family has died. A Capo named MR_MAN attacked yours truly, don’t worry im perfectly fine, causing me to take action and kill him on the spot. We earlier found out that his father was, TREVO_THE_BOY, killed for also attacking a member without permission (it must run in the family).

Gambino must be the flavour of the month for the killers as yet another family member was killed. A Goomba John-Gotti was also attacking without permission. These killings were probably a result of the absence of family leader Benny__Noodles, now back on the scene and I think I can speak for Benny when I say these will stop.

Joke Of The Week

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

What were you thinkin?

Joke submitted by paraphilia

Chamber Of Commerce Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Mr_Xela 5

thunder 5

Benny__Noodles 5

somehobo606 3

kid-blasto 2

kross_ 1

Don’t forget to read the new edition of the Tabloid. Don’t miss me too much America, till next time.

Welcome to another edition of the AM Times. This week we have got for you war, rising families, death as always and an interview with the new President of the United States.

Bullets, victims and blood on our streets…

On the 05-01-2010 at 11:21AM a legend was killed. A Godfather named Constantine, former leader of The Barzini Crime Family was at war with Benny__Noodles and The Gambino Crime Family, see previous article, when he was brutally murdered by medium_girl. Constantine was in heavy battle with Noodles when the Godmother snuck up on Constantine and shot him point blank in the head, she then threatened Benny which lead him to gun her down. When talking to Mr-Xela I asked if he had anything to say concerning the death and he said, Constantine was great friend of mine and he was a great don to his family, I tried to bring peace between them, but as you see I was unsuccessful. Constantine’s former wife died of a drug overdose leaving him with no heir to live on his legend. With or without an heir his name will live on. When ask to give a statement about Constantine’s death all Benny__Noodles had to say was, R.I.P, alls fair in love and war.

Family On The Rise

There is a new family on the scene of lately and they are known as The Monster Alliance. Run by kross_, passed down to him when KODY was killed. Their member count bombed from 5 to 27 in a short period of time. When at a lunch with kross_ I asked him what his secret was to getting these members in the time that he did and he told me, Giving them a Boss they feel they can trust, is willing to lay down his life to protect his family, being organized and also giving incentive for joining the family. If you want to join The Monster Alliance contact any member and they will get back to you ASAP.

Cemetary Update

The cemetary is full of family members this week due to the war. The paper is to full to explain how, why and who killed them so I will just put their name and rank.

A Goomba, sophbitesmore.

4 Earners, Conroe, Gino_Rizzo, deadmans and Gitto

2 Wiseguys, a family leader, Mr-Deluca and -KC-
A Consigliere, Monster-INC

A Don, Don__Barzzini

And a Godmother, medium-girl

Interview With The President

Thanks for taking the time for an interview Mr President. How does it feel to be elected the President of the United States?

Hi,

It feels like I rule the whole world. My office has new powers too. Its very cool to know that you are the highest power in the community.

And will you do anything to change the current state America is in? For example the killings.

Me, as the President of the United States am not associated in any ways with any illegal activities. I am a man of honour and will do everything to protect the citizens of our country, the killings must stop. Soon we will run out of taxpayers.

And how do you feel about the recent war between The Barzini Crime Family and The Gambino Crime Family?

Wars are unnecessary most of the time, however in their underground world they might have unwritten rules that were broken. I, as the President of the United States, do not associate with their criminal activities and I really cannot provide more information. I will instruct our Governors to take actions in their own state to prevent murders. As the President I will only enforce the security and safety of our citizens.

What do you say to master, once a trusted cardinal, rigging the presidential elections?

I am happy Master got caught by the authorities. Imagine if he actually pulled it off and he would win the elections? It would be Mayhem.

If you are to lose the next elections will you go to crime like former president Monster-INC?

I would not go to a life of crime. You can always server your country as a Cardinal, Governor, or who knows maybe I will get re-elected.

Thank you for the interview again Mr. President, I wish you success in the white house and hope you do great things.

Thank you Lexi.

Always a pleasure.

Regards,

The President

Chamber Of Commerce Top Business Owners

Mr_Xela 5

Thunder 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Somehobo606 3

Kid-blasto 2

Starting next week there will be a new joke of the week section, if you have a joke send it in and the funniest will be in the AM Times. Also there will be advertisement, if you have anything to advertise send it to me. All advertisement will make it in. Don’t miss me to much, till next time America.

WAR!!!

This is an urgent news report concerning war between two families. On one side, The Gambino Crime Family, run by Benny__Noodles and on the other The Barzini Crime Family, run by Constantine. Some say this war is over power, some say it is over the recent deaths of Mr-DeLuca and his wife, _mrs-deluca_ and others say it is over betrayal.

Taking a look at the two men they have very different reputations. Benny, a fairly new player who rose through the ranks with quick succession, making his mark in America fast. Then you have Constantine, a rich family bloodline full of Godfathers and legendary families. As of yet there have been no successors, but that could all change with a blink of an eye. There have been no reports that Mr_Xela and kross_ have taken sides. I guess time will tell folks.

Stay safe, till next time America.

Edition written by LexiRae

Betrayal By A Family Leader

Vito_Genovese, once a trusted family leader has killed his entire family. The reason for this mass killing is unsure but what is clear is that this dead did not go unpunished. Here is what Gambino Crime Family leader Benny__Noodles had to say about it.

“I was getting a cup of coffee at the local store and a copy of the AM Times when I heard shots, 5 total. I came running outside to find a local thug gunned down. He was still gasping for air. I knelled down beside him and told him to rest. He said to me in a chilling voice “Make them pay Benny”.

I stood up and called my RHM, had him set up a meeting between Vito and I. Vito refused the meet and started disrespecting me over the phone. I called 3 Friends of mine who helped me bust him out of Federal Prison and we walked him outside, put a gun to his head and executed him on the spot. We then travelled a couple cities over and murdered his RHM Lita in this sleep. Trish came running and Screaming. “What happened”. I calmed her down and took her in. The Hoodie Mafia Family and Vito_Genovese where no more.

Sincerely, Benny__Noodles

Godfather Of The Gambino Crime Family.

A moment of silence to those who have fallen at the hand of Vito_Genovese, may their souls rest in peace and may they come back as a new, replenished soul.

The Death Of New York Governor

By Benny__Noodles

Killing_you, born In New York, was a well known Godfather he was also elected for NY Governor. He killed many good men. One of his victims was a well known mobster KODY. In KODY’s funeral he stated that Benny Noodles was the one to kill him. A friend of mine informed me of this and I attended the funeral to see for myself. He did say that. What crap. I rallied the boys and we all tracked killing_you down and a fire fight was ensued. After the gun smoke cleared

Killing_you lied riddled with Thompson rounds, forensics estimated 4,597 bullets where found in him.

He Was Beyond Recognition.

Tainted Presidential Election

Information has been leaked involving the presidential election. Master, a candidate in the election and former New York Cardinal has been found guilty of rigging the votes. This scandal has erupted across America, causing disorder and turmoil but was ended by the naming of a new President. A congratulations is in order for Ncrypted, winning the election fair and square. I hear he will do great things.

Clean Out

Its spring time and you know what that means, time for a clean up. The first set of cleaning was done in the Admin Forum. This means a new, fresh start for everyone but with this comes stricter rules, which are:

Cracking down on people with dupes

No bad mouthing the game

Both of these will get you banned on the spot so be wary because the Admin means business. Speaking of business, its time for the
Chamber of Commerce top business owners

Mr_Xela 5

Thunder 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Don__Barzzini 4

Constantine 3

Somehobo606 3

Kid-blasto 2

Mr-DeLuca 1

Look out next week for the new edition of the AM Times, from your new reporter, LexiRae.
Don’t miss me to much, till next time America.