Latest Posts

IRS Policy on Mugging

Hello residents of the American Mafia.

We have worked with the local and federal authorities to combat the mugging and kidnapping epidemic started by the majority of our citizens here.

Programs have been put in place to assist the citizens to run a lawful life and the federal authorities have applied a new rule that will take effect today.

Citizens are prohibited from mugging and kidnapping.

Internal Revenue Service©

 

Drowning that Ocean

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on” – Winston Churchill

“A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.” – Albert Einstein

“Joe is very stupid to understand some things.” – Michael


OK, Let’s get the show on the road.

 

To start off, we have a shoutout from Lollotrolli, he says to check out the video in the link below, that’s Lollo and his bro at the mic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT0tJBAe8Uw
If you got a Youtube account, hit like, subscribe.. whatever. I know I won’t be as much as I would like to, because I closed down my account after getting too pissed off at the Youtube admins.

 

Onto the news. In a recap of the last story, Michael refuses to confirm or deny his involvement and responsibility towards the deaths of Daniel Ocean and Danny Archer. Questions arouse as to “what’s he got to hide?”.

 

Aside from that, we have an update on the motives behind the killings, good or bad – that’s your opinion.

Ocean had allegedly made death threats towards Domino, however Ocean claims it was a misunderstanding. “Domino told Goodfellas that I said I was going to kill her, which was clearly a joke in the contexts of the message that’s why they will not release it to the public” says Ocean.

Shortly after this, rumors emerged that Ocean was planning a huge massacre on Corleones. Ocean says these are rumors made up by Goodfellas to justify his actions.

The death of Archer however, is believed to be nothing other than vengeful spite.

WE FINALLY HAVE INTELLIGENCE!

Words are like bullets

Today, the improbable has happened. Corleones have taken a break from killing other families and having Michael threaten them so they can’t get revenge; This time Corleones are killing each other! Daniel Ocean and Danny Archer were both killed, most likely by Mr Goodfellas.

This causes massive confusion. We all know that when a Corleone kills someone, Michael doesn’t let them get revenge no matter what, but he also makes sure that when a Corleone is killed, they always get revenge no matter what.

So what happens in this case? Either he will break the rule and allow someone to get revenge on a Corleone or he will break the other rule and prevent a Corleone getting revenge.

I tried several times to get an answer from the boss of Corleones, but he didn’t make much sense.

 

As of now we have no intelligence as to the motives behind these attacks, nor any intelligence whatsoever. It does not appear to be any form of vengeance, the only possibility is they were killed over some argument.

UPDATE AS I WRITE THIS: Michael is telling me I shouldn’t ask him what he would do if either of the dead guys get revenge and that Scarface knows what Michael will do more than he does himself.

So… Michael can’t tell me himself; he needs Scar to stick his fist up his ass and work his mouth like a puppet. So that‘s why Scar puts his fist there so often, I always wondered about that…

 

OK, I guess that wraps up that story. Scar, get in touch and tell us what Michael will do.

You know, writing these articles is ten fold as hard as it was before I was last killed. Back then, I knew what was going on most of the time, I didn’t have to resort to making sense out of babble and I didn’t need to make jokes about people and could figure out facts by myself.

Anyway people, sent stuff in. If you got an opinion on something or want a shout out, or whatever, send it in. It’s not so cool writing all this and getting no responses. Anyone who has anything at all to discuss, hit me up for an interview or whatever.

 

Every big-dog-Benny has his day…

Surprising deaths in the air and a twist in the plot. But first:

Our top story for today

Joe King makes an amazing return to writing, after a no-idea-how-long absence. That’s right, that’s what people care about. I started getting mail telling me to start writing again, because they are dieing to read more crap about things they probably already know about. Well that crap is of course – me, writing for the AM Times…

I feel my last few articles weren’t so good, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind because of working harder and faster than anyone on AM has ever done, wearing me to the bone.. only to lose it all solely because a former close friend of mine felt he didn’t know me anymore. That’s right, those were the almost exact words after finding out it was him. See? There I go again…

 

Onto real news

Yesterday (or the day/week before – depends on how long it takes for this article to be published), Benny Noodles – an AM veteran, retired as of some time ago and former ruler of the Noodles A.K.A Bloodline A.K.A Angels of death A.K.A several other names I cant keep track of empire, was killed at his old folks concentration camp in Maryland.

Taking smug credit is Carlo Gambino – who is no way connected to the Gambino crime family founded by Benny Noodles a few years ago, to avoid confusion. Carlo also confessed publicly to the murder of Octavius Bianco, who’s death remained a mystery over the last week and later killed several members of current families. Mafioso units responding the the distress call were dispatched immediately to kill him. After a short chase, they were successful. It remains unknown at this point as to who took the final shot, as well as to the motive of the attack.

 

A close friend of Carlo’s, SilentZ had this to say:

“I know Carlo from the day I started this game. He’s the one who approached me, recruited and taught me about the game. He’s been too nice with me, very supportive and dedicative in teaching me the do’s and dont’s in this game. He’s simply my best friend in this game.

“Actually I was too shocked to know that he was dead. From the cemetery posts I read, he started the war first. I can’t confirm this directly because I still need to talk to my Don about what really happened here. I can’t even think a reason why a nice guy like him could have started the war against those 7 guys (R.I.P)”

 

At first glance it may appear to be simply a guy attacking randomly, but as we dig deeper, hidden truths are uncovered. Nicodermo Scarfo apparently ordered a hit on Carlo to start with, these motives also remain unknown.

More on this story later, just so long as Admin doesn’t edit/change parts of this article, like he does often.

 

 

Written by Joe King AKA TheJoeKingThing

A wise man said one time, act as though your side is right, only those on your side will listen to you. Treat both sides respectfully, everyone will listen to you.

 

Corleone 4 (short) life

Oh boy. News time again and this is something I really didn’t want to write about, but I guess it’s too important to miss, so I got no choice.

 

More Corleones were killed yesterday and several more over the past week. This time Jimmy Conway was responsible for the deaths of 2 Corleone dons and a consigliere along side several lower rankers. These are believed to be the attacks of underground groups founded to take out Corleones in hopes to one day rule AM.

I think I should clarify here – yes – I am at war with Corleones but I’m not part of these silly clubs that never get anywhere. Corleones declared war on me so I’m just hoping for revenge. I just helped Jimmy out a little, that’s all, because any collateral kills are a bonus in my favor.

 

The reason behind the sudden outbreak of Corleone haters is not in the members, but their leader – Michael Corleone, who’s over protection of his members allows any Corleone to kill people, with the dead not allowed to be avenged. If a Corleone is killed, Corleones get revenge, but if a Corleone kills someone, they will be protected from anyone getting revenge.

 

Well, that wasn’t too hard to write and I tried not to sound cynical or pissed off. In other news; should Mr Goodfellas jr apologize on behalf of Canada for Justin Bieber? A question on everyone’s mind, which we all eagerly await for justice.

 

Also; why are there a bunch of men trying to pass off as the wife of Michael Corleone? More on this next time.

 

This is Joe King with AM News – remember, shout-outs can be sent in anytime and will show up in the next article.

Muggers and fuggers

It is official, residents of the American Mafia are starting to mug each other in a desperate attempt to steal cash from other residents.

 

Hello, this is Joe once again, and once again I have a new account. After going through HELL and back again, reaching the rank of CDTC in just 1 day (world record), just for it all the be thrown away again. So… sorry if the tone of this article seems.. dreary. I guess I have gone into a deep stage of depression; I mean, I’ve mugged over 40million from suckers today and I’m not even stoked. I saw some guy kill a bunch of “protected” people, when I know I would either laugh my ass off or take some kind of interest in stuff like that, but… nothing.

 

OK, so onto… news. Mugging became a sensation today as mafiosos across the country starting looting and stealing money from each other. No longer is it safe to walk around with 100 million dollars in your pockets and people are starting to learn to use banks.

 

In terror news, several respectable mafia guys – leaders and non, were killed in a one man killing spree. From what I saw, Shotgun Joe did the works, before he ran off the Florida and was found dead after a failed attempt to kill Michael Corleone. The reasons and motivations for the attack are so far, unknown. Was this just an attempt to “go out with a bang” or something more sinister? What lurks in the shadows awaiting it’s.. aww sh**, I can’t be dramatic right now. Too much stuff is going on and I got a revenge to plan – coming to get you, Scarface.

 

Written, published.. etc by Joe King

Doglegs

 

Hello, this is Joe King once again. This entire article is dedicated to a very special resident of AM – Mr Xela, who is my replacement as consigliere for Corleones and is of course, too scared to fight me.

The controversy began a couple of months ago, when Joe King – the deserving consigliere of the Corleone empire was killed off by his own boss for killing a thug who wasn’t in a family. Joe was replaced by Xela, who had never served Corleones before, yet was bumped up straight to consigliere. Although other members on the Corleone tree struggled to work there ways upwards, giving total strangers a high promotion, is the way Corleones role these days.

 

Even after the infamous Joe vs. Corleone fight where 18 Corleone bosses were killed, 2 Corleones refused to work their way up the ranks, like everyone else does when they lose a fight. Michael gave his d[CENSORED] to those fallen Corleones, who are Don Vito and Mr Xela (the latter is of course, too scared to fight me).

 

Darius AKA Pierce, who we know as the primary cause of the Corleone massacre and as Joe’s nemesis, agreed to fight Joe on several occasions, losing, but at least he fought like man. This is contrary to Mr Xela who of course, is too scared to fight me.

 

In another topic, are family leaders resorting to killing people a little too soon? More on this another time.

Conspiracy plot

Yet another guy – this time some don called Black Beard, made a family without consulting the Commission. He was also believed to be part of some conspiracy plot to kill members of the Philadelphia and the Corleone crime families. Black Beard was then killed by Shotgun Joe who, of course, had nothing to do with anything.

 

ALSO, earlier today the Templar Knights – a society that has been inactive for several centuries, has fallen and.. wait a sec.

This just in: a society that’s been inactive for even longer than the Templars – the Monster Alliance, have fallen! Residents are shocked that a group that wouldn’t come back anyway, won’t be coming back.

 

This is breaking news, once again with Joe King – dumbing down society, so you can live better.

Dog Kingpin (part I)

It’s been quite awhile since my fight with Corleones, but that event seems to have had a ripple effect on AM ever since. Not only in things like AMFU, along with the need for new arrangements, but in the American Mafia culture. Killing family members seems to have gone up and I should say, I don’t condone that. I had my disputes with Corleone’s over-expansion and keeping other families down, so I did my thang, but I had everything figured out.

 

So, onto the topic: killing random family members is something I have always fought against. I was the best at fighting for the family and that’s what got me to the top, it’s what made me worthy of getting my own Corleone family. But it seems these days, it’s too easy to get a one. What used to be the highest honor, is for the dogs.

 

I know you guys would just love for me to talk some more, I know, but we got a shout-out from someone called BitchSmack_:

“I am the serial killer!! I will keep killing! Also, this Alberto Corleone guy is bitch, he’s got written on his profile ‘be a man and kill me online’, but I attacked him online and he ran to another state!!”

 

Hmm, that shout-out is a little disturbing. Every few weeks some new guy comes long trying to become infamous through killing random people. Also Alberto, whoever you are, how is anyone supposed to kill you online if you run away?. And can we please stop with all this BS about waiting for someone to sign on, that’s just an excuse Dickface – I mean Ruthless, made up and now stupid people believe it.

 

OK, back to the topic at hand. Next article I hope to get a full discussion with Michael Corleone and a special guest which is to be decided.

 

Oh and as a news flash for those who don’t know, all citizens have been ranked up and the killing spree is to continue once again. Former president of AM – Igor the beast has been killed!

 

In other news, an illegal ring of mugging and kidnapping is expected to hit AM next. What do you guys think of this? Message me your opinions for the next article.

 

Written, edited, directed, everything by Joe King.

 

*Remember, if you want your voice heard without annoying people killing your vibe on forums, send me shout-outs and it may appear in the next article.

Cappin more Capones

Hello, this is Joe again. News. Capone seems to be a common surname of people that end up in the news after they die from making a family without permission. This particular article marks a very historic moment in my time a the news guy, as this is the first time I have written a news story without actually knowing anything about it. I had to dig up what I could and ask around, but I got what I think is fact.

 

9th of May, 2012 – From what I can tell, Tony Capone left the Corleone Inc under command of Mr Xela and made his own family. Apparently so, his exact words to his former boss and new found nemesis were: “good luck finding me through 50 states. You have 18 men and soon less, lets see who dies first.” Unsurprisingly, Tony Capone was found remotely quick and killed. Shortly after this, the brother of the recently deceased, Joe Capone revealed he had paid some gangster, Joseph Amato to kill members of Corleone Inc only to get some collateral kills before both were taken out (not to dinner).

According to Nicodermo ScarfoNIIIKOOO COOUSIN, he spoke to Capone about his family and convinced him to take it down. Capone joined the Philadelphia Crime Family with an agreement for Nico to take care of any payments to get his life spared but naturally, Corleones didn’t listen.

 

In other news, two Corleone Capos and a Wiseguy were found dead earlier in certainly not the first of several terrorist attacks. The who and the why remain a mystery.

We got word from Castello Reborn, in a plea for the random killings to stop:

“Recently, we can see that a few family bosses are trying to seek for witness statements for the death of their respective family members. This is a very bad situation in American Mafia especially for people like us, where we can see the rise of the “silent killer”. This also means that we can be easily killed by someone that we don’t even know who he/she is and what is the purpose. The funny thing is, there is no WS given to them and this shows that the killer is very smart. I believe that this situation will become worst shortly as we can see the things done by Tony Capone. It is not nice to kill someone who worked hard to gain money and ranks and didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m here not to over shine all the family bosses, especially Scarface9407 (my boss), but I think there is a need for them to arrange a meeting to settle this thing and come out with a solution. As we can see in the cemetery, there are lots of conflict. Some people are being killed by their own bosses because they attacked/killed their own family members and some of them try to cheat their own bosses. Personally, I see this as the beginning of the mafia cruel war where this can cause a misunderstanding between families.

So, I hope that strong organization such as AMFU can settle this thing.”

 

As is known, this isn’t the start of anything. Random family members deaths are very frequent.

In the opinion of this particular news reporter/writer, it seems like family members don’t try hard enough at helping their fellow members. Back in the day, when I was raising through the-[CENSORED. Boring speech! Rabble, rabble..]

2ND COMING

You thought I was finished, but I come back and smack American Mafia in face! That’s right, I’m back controlling the media. People kept saying to me “Joe, get back to what you are good at, go back to entertaining and informing us about events we have probably already heard of. You’re an inspiration to us all, Joe. We love you!”

This time around, it’s more about the residents. Hard working mafias can relax after a long day of giving the law the finger and come read my articles. Because if they don’t, I will come kick the s*** outta them. I may be away from the family leader business and the commission, but I still got all the connections, I’m still in the inner circle, spreading my wisdom. Oh yeah!

It’s more than news this time, now it’s about keeping the focus on the residents, keeping them active and getting their opinions out there. Here is an average earner working his way up the recently founded Philadelphia Crime Family,
hey you, what do to say to my comeback?
Frank-Vinci: Awesome, I know you well and I know that you will be great at it.
OK, awesome. See people, here’s a supporter of me. You see? You see, Nicodermo the intern?

 

Here’s a special bulletin about a very special occurrence:

28th of may, 2012 – Paulie-Gulteari was prison raped to death. During his last supper in the prison cafeteria, he suspected one of his 12 shower daddies would betray him. 3 days after his death, before us all, stood Paulie of Nazareth. Our saviour resurrected. The newly founded Church of Paulie Christ of Shatter day saints is doing everything humanly possible to convert all sinners to AM’s religion of PaulieGultology. Praise Paulie, long may he reign.

Paulie-Gulteari: Way to ruin the news, cause with you doing it nobody’s gonna read it.
Dude, I’m the best reporter ever. I don’t care if you’re Jesus, don’t dis the media.

 

Stories will appear as soon as they happen and in the meantime, I will be getting several views from residents on topical matters.

One of the current issues, particularly in the recent forums, is cynicism. This is a topic I would really like to discuss and get several points of view from. Unless anything highly newsworthy happens, this will be discussed in my next article.

 

I know at this point of reading, Ruthless and others will be saying this article sucks, but they really dont mean it, they just hate me and will say anything against me.

But I don’t care! I’m back to writing and that’s all people should care about!

 

One last thing. Rumour has it, massive changes will come as to the way families are organized, and I got the in on it. Isn’t that amazing? The kingpin of everything will hear from me on my views. The AM population will just have to wait and see what unfolds.

 

“2nd coming” – by Joe King aka ThaJoeKingThing

Anyone who wants a shout-out, messege me and your words will appear in the next article.

Gold Rising’s War

It was a damp April morning, every Mafioso was asleep. But there was one who had a nasty plain for that early morning, Joe__King of Gold Rising started to drive from state to state walking into Mafioso’s houses and killing Family leaders while they sleep. Nobody was aware of what was happening. When ironically Michael__Corleone awakened. He noticed what was happening and reacted quickly, finding Joe and after a long and hard fight, Joe__King took a bullet to the head which instantly killed him. The War was over, Both sides lost many men. A total Family Leader Body Count of 18 on the Corleone side. Including the body of Ruthless, Raymond. Both members of Bad Company. But this didn’t go unpunished. Michael__Corleone ordered the Death of all Gold Rising Members. With hours, the streets were stained with the blood of Gold Rising as everybody was being killed off.

 

No doubt this will go down into American Mafia History.

 

I recently asked Michael__Corleone for a inter, with all warm smiles, he accepted.

 

Nicky: Hello Michael, it is a great Pleasure to have you here.

 

Michael: Well thank you.

 

Nicky: So How long did it take you to noticed what Joe was doing?

 

Michael: I was in my palace when I heard phone ringing , I waked up and answered the phone , it was call from friend of mine, he said there is a war and that Raymond and Goodfellas were just killed so thats when I found out after fellas death.

 

Nicky: What was your reaction that he was attacking your Family?

 

Michael: What reaction man could expect, I was upset and sad to see my brothers in cemetery, it made me very angry, but as you all know me I try to think with my head cold always, so I calmed down thinked about situation and decided what to do.

 

Nicky: Did you feel betrayed that your former brother would do this to you?

 

Michael: Yes I felt betrayal and it is not first time I have that feeling, I was upset to see Joe decided to do that and to go on people which were close to me, so at that moment I decided to take out everyone in his empire down.

 

Nicky: How long did it take you to kill Joe?

 

Michael: Well Joe Shot someone in NY someone let me know Joe started killing in NY, so i took private flight and gone to New York, my bodyguards and I started looking for Joe in NY, Joe knew he stand no chances so he started running to airport wishing to leave NY and take some more targets out as he had targeted many, I started following him to airport and on each corner there were 7 bodyguards he hired to cover his way, I killed them all but once I got to airport Joe already was on the plane, he succeeded to leave NY, then I arranged my friends I have in politic and everywhere to cut of his money incomes and to find his location, after some time, I found him in Oklahoma, he gone to place where none think he would which I see as smart move, he was in my state, in state of Oklahoma I gone there myself, started shooting at his bodyguards there were many of them, I killed them all and finally when I got to Joe, he said to me that he did what he wanted amazing, then he tried to reach his gun and I gunned him down.

 

Nicky: Well that concludes our interview! Thank you for your time!

 

​Michael: No problem, is was my pleasure.