Year: 2012

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THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE BLOWING

January 29, 2012 by Reporter in

A new era has begun on American Mafia. This week we saw the biggest and most numerous changes, most notably the retirement of long time ruler and founder on the Corleone crime family – which evolved into the Corleone empire, Michael Corleone. This news shocked most resident as the strongest resident in the history of American Mafia hands all his power to long time best friend, Ruthless.

 

This retirement was announced shortly after the death of loyal Consigliere Joe D Foster, who had disagreements with the capo di tutti capi and fought to the death. This battle shocked residents as bullets and explosions shook the state of Nevada, while resident ran for cover. Taking his place as ruler of Badfellas di Corleone is Foster’s former right hand man – Frank Pentangeli, and as for his place as Consigliere, shockingly Goodfellas steps down as capo di tutti capi of the Outfit empire – handing all his power down to Beck, to take Foster’s place on the Corleone tree.

 

Another twist in the Corleone structure is the dismissal of enforcer Sonny Black, who was discharged from the Corleone empire on request and it seems to be granted with no grudges held. Bocephes – a loyal capo, has been promoted to enforcer in Black’s place.

 

To get an inside opinion, we arranged an interview with _Tolly_, the new underboss of the Corleone empire:

Editor: Ok, it seems Tolly is late for his interview, so I’m gonna go ahead and start without him. I have a Tolly impersonator to give his answers. Tolly, what do you think of the AM Times?
Tolly’s Impersonator: Yeah, it’s sweet. You are so awesome and cool. You kick ass, Joe FuckNuts.
Editor: Why thank you very much, I know I’m awesome. Oh wait, the real Tolly is here now. We can begin for real.

Editor: Tolly, how surprised were you about Michael’s retirement?
Tolly: Not very. He had thought about it for a while. He was always too busy on here. I think he got fed up of bossing everyone around too.
Editor: Do you think making Ruthless in charge of the empire was the best decision?
Tolly: Yes, by far. Ruthless is a good leader and he knows his way around the game better than anyone else.
AdBot: Read the Newspaper http://www.americanmafia.org/blog/newspaper/
Editor: Fuck off Adbot. A great leader certainly, but do you think he may lack the strength?
 Tolly: Maybe, but this is why we have a structure in Corleone. We have many people who are willing to sacrifice their lives in order for us to stay powerful.
Editor: New capo di tutti capi, you became the new underboss, Sonny left, Goodfellas joined, Joe died. How do you think these changes will effect the way Corleones run things?
Tolly: Well, Ruthless is known for his great shooting skills, but we also have many brains behind us. Michael Corleone is Ruthless’s advisor for the time being, and I have had many wars in the past. Then we have Goodfellas as the new consigliere. It will all depend on who crosses us. We may just kill them off, or we may come to a peaceful solution. Our new system will be worked out soon. We have only just made changes to the ranks. Sonny was a great corleone, but if someone wishes to leave us, then so be it, as long as they had a good enough reason. The Corleones will continue to become bigger and bigger, our enemies cannot hide from us. But we are reasonable enough to work out a peaceful solution in every situation.
Editor: Finally, is there anything you would like to shout out to the readers?
Tolly: There is actually. I am recruiting for my family now as I am active again, and I am accepting any loyal mafiosos. Message me for an invite.
Editor: Hey, you aren’t a paying sponsor for the AM Times. Advertise somewhere else.

In other news, will there ever be another president of American Mafia? Joe FuckNuts had launched a campaign to get hold of this position and has gathered many supporters. And what happened to the former president, Igor the Beast? The future in politics of American Mafia depends on getting active willing members into the office positions.

Edited and written by Joe FNuts

Double Crossing a Mafia boss

January 17, 2012 by Reporter in

An inspiration for the ruthless gangland boss in the American Mafia world, Joe_D_Foster was wanted for hundreds of murders. One victim was shot between the eyes in a parking lot at his country club in Nevada. Another was gunned down in broad daylight on a New York street to prevent him from talking about the killing in Oklahoma. Others were taken out for running afoul of Joe’s gambling enterprises.

 

“He left a trail of bodies,” said Dellingkeepsdying, a caporegime of his family. “You did not double-cross him. If you did, you were dead.”

 

At the same time he was boss of Nevada’s murderous Badfellas Di Corleone family, Foster was a Consigliere to the Corleone empire. But he fled in November 2011 when an agent tipped him off that he was about to be indicted.

 

Prosecutors said Foster went on the run after being warned by an FBI agent John Connolly. Connolly was convicted of racketeering in December 2011 for protecting Foster and his cohort, Stephen “The Rifleman” Flemmi, also an FBI informant. A congressional committee, in a draft report issued in 2012, blasted the FBI for its use of DARIUS, former Badfellas Di Corleone’s Caporegime, as an informant, calling it “one of the greatest failures in the history of federal law enforcement.” As the saying of Dellingkeepsdying goes, on January 13th, Darius who double-crossed Foster, was found dead in Illinoise with two gunshot wounds in the back of his head.


 

Written by Dellingkeepsdying

 

The killing spree, oh the deamons we

January 13, 2012 by Reporter in

The killing spree, oh the deamons we

This new year there was certainly alot of gunpowder. Only a week into 2012 and we have already had serial killers striking random victims, betrayal among siblings, disloyal capos taught respect, ghost sightings, and of course; the predictable failure of a revolution.

*Joe King’s ghost sighted!*
In the Badfellas di Corleone back alley there appears to be a post by the families former boss, a month and a half after he died. Ghosts of other former member were also sighted, as present family members found this very amusing. We would call Ghost Hunters if that show wasn’t so terrible.

On a more serious note, the serial killer known as The_Killer__ went on a killing spree taking out Corleone associates _Ryder_ and Anthony_V_Corleone, before a Corleone boss witnessed the killing and killed The Killer. In a somewhat related story, Badfellas di Corleone has once again risen to become the biggest family topping over thirty members, despite the recent death of capo -_-ToNy-_- who had pissed off a lot of people in the past and present.

*CORLEONE REACHES TWO YEARS*
The Corleone Crime Family, the oldest and biggest family is now two years old. Starting off as one, it is now 22 families in size.

Finally in an unimportant note, the revolutionary group and WWF impersonators known as New World Order have failed at an attempt to take over American Mafia. Their revolutionary activities included: killing random thugs, holdingmafia-killings inactives ransom, pissing people off, and of course; trash talking! They were all wiped out and there was much rejoicing.

Edited and written by Joe D Foster

Sonny Black

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

Diaz & some other guys.

Diaz walks into his apartment and sees his room mate, Rocco on the computer then Diaz walks to him and says ”What are you doing?”
”I’m making a facebook account” Says Rocco as he is looking on other peoples profiles and then goes on to the profile of Mickey and in the description it has: I like cauliflour, ****ing windows, picking my nose and wiping my finger under the chair, and as you can see by my profile piscture my nob is five foot six. ”I didnt know that about Mickey” Says Diaz. ”Anyway, are you ready?”
”What for?”
”We are going out with Mickey”
”Oh yeah I forgot”
”You wanker, get ready and lets go”

*    *    *

Micky, Diaz & Rocco are on the subway train at night and there is no one in the carriage except them. ”Micky, why have you got a picture of your **** on your facebook page?” Says Diaz
”For the girls hahahahaha” Says Micky
”Why dont you put your face aswell?”
”ID theft, you got to be carefull these days”
Micky, Diaz & Rocco get off the train and they are walking up the stairs and there is a woman walking down the stairs and then when she sees them she turns around and walks the other way then Micky, Diaz & Rocco run after her shouting ”WHERE NOT ATTACKERS, WE ARENT GONNA HURT YOU!”
Then the woman starts running away from them as she gets her phone out and calls the police.

*    *    *

Micky, Diaz & Rocco are in the police station sat on a bench wearing handcuffs then Diaz says ”Well this ****s!”

Created and written by Sonny Black

BABAM goes BAM!

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

BABAM goes BAM!

California knows how to party, which is where BABAM headed to after leaving the Corleone House Painters and his old boss behind. BABAM22 – former right hand man to Sonny-Black, had finished off a random killing spree and after days laying low, he came forward and confessed to the murder of both some_hobo – associated with Joe D Foster’s crew, and Veritas – one of the only remaining members of the Bloodline empire. After making peace with Joe D, he agreed to begin working for him. Unfortunatly BABAM was found dead in California, compliments of Mr. Black. The walls were certainly red.

Gunshots

Apart from the awesome title, this story isn’t really worth an entire article. So, instead we bring you some exclusive Paulie-Gulteari sightings!

Sonny-Black: Yes, I even made contact. I said he was a guinea prick and then he called me a faggot. So, he tried to attack me, but i threw a can of coke at his head, then he ran of into a cave, probably where he is hiding.
-_-ToNy-_-: Yup, I have busted him out of federal jail too. I even messaged with him.
Sonny__Corleone: Yeah, I think he was in New York.
_Ryder_: Yeah, yesterday.
Anthony_V_Corleone: Yeah, I have 3 times.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster

Mafia Mini News

January 5, 2012 by Reporter in

BREAKING NEWS! AM Times has absolutly nothing to report on! So instead we bring you news-minis, because it’s been awhile since my lasy story and I need to fill a page. Enjoy:

*AM Wars – Episode VI: Return of the Joe D
Joe D Foster – son of Joe King, has risen to take his father’s place as Capo di Tutti Capi of Nevada and his chair in the AMFU council. The Corleone branch, Badfellas – formally run by Joe sr and now by Joe jr, is also rising member by member in an attempt to expand bigger than ever before.

*THE OLD ONE HAS AWAKEN!
In the past few days there have been multiple Paulie-Gulteari sightings reported. Many believe this creature to be a myth, but following the footage provided by an anonymous camper who aparently spotted the Paulie-Gulteari in the woods, zoologists across the country have started a full scale investigation. Bigfoot, Mothman, the Chupacabra and now the Paulie-Gulteari.


*Cult of Personality
We have all heard of Sonny-Black’s reputation for being an angry bastard. His insults and threats make him the guy for the job as enforcer for the Corleones. However, recently rumours have spread about Sonny’s plan to kill everyone. A guy called Fat_Sal, who wishes to remain anonymous, made up these intentions and told them to active mafiosos. Why is this mentally disturbed man/woman/thing spreading rumours that any sane person would ignore? Why is he trying to build up Sonny’s reputation for him?

Thanks for reading and don’t kill yourself. The next article will be better than this. I swear it!
Edited and written by Joe D Foster.