Month: June 2010

The American Mafia Newspaper 2nd Edition

The American Mafia Newspaper by our Editor Ruggiero Tuscarella NEW YORK


By R.Tuscarella

On a lovely summer afternoon, don-bugsy came forward to announce the formation of his new family ™PASTORES™.

During his statement, he spoke about finding a ranch near the banks of the Trinity River and sold his bar to purchase the ranch. With this purchase would allow his family to expand and assist in developing and enhancing the city of New York.

When asked why he chose New York, he responded,

“I chose New York in general for many reasons. One of the foremost reasoning being that generations of my family have descended from within this fine city. Both my bloodline and the city itself have a rich history and tradition with many a story of the two intertwined passed on down through the generations. Added to this I see many good opportunities as time proceeds for businesses and moneymaking in general.

Together with other Bosses around my chaotic lot will be helping New York progress into a city that people would want to visit. A safe place away from crime where people can call into the local amenities, and enjoy the social side to life.”

The American Mafia Newspaper wishes to take the time to wish the new family much luck with all of their endeavors for the future. MANY DEAD BODIES FOUND IN RECENT DAYS by R.Tuscarella On 18th of Jun at 7:24 pm, former New York Boss chugz_nicholas got killed in his apartment, when three men’s with mask’s on their faces walked in and shot many rounds into chugz body. He died in Texas.  Nobody know’s at the moment who were the killer’s or who sent them to Texas. Another high ranked member were found dead on 13th of Jun at 02:47 am, named IgnasioSalatore. He was found in Colorado, stabbed in about 55 times. The local Police Department chief didn’t answered to our call’s and we believe that this case will remain close. The next high ranked member we found in California, so-called B-D-N-O, he died on 8th of Jun at 7:13 pm. He was a Capo for a local Don, but rumours are that he screwed up a deal with one of the New York crime families and got killed because of that. HOROSCOPES

By R.TuscarellaÂ

Aries March 21-April 19

Get your people organized — because nobody else is going to do it! You’ve got to apply some of that positive mental energy to the social situation if you want to see anything get done.

Taurus April 20-May 20

You’re feeling kind of left behind by some trend or idea that just doesn’t appeal to you — but thing should revert to normal before long and those who jumped on the bandwagon will look a little silly.

Gemini May 21-June 21

You’re feeling mentally flexible — much more so than usual! It’s a good time to change your mind about things that seemed pretty rigid just yesterday, though others might not agree with you quite yet.

Cancer June 22-July 22

You’ve got to face up to that financial issue — it won’t ever solve itself and now brings the right kind of energy to make some progress. You may find that people are more willing to help you out.

Leo July 23-August 22

You’ve got the answer to almost any question lately and that feels great. You should try to stay humble about it, as if you get too cocky, you may find that your powers desert you when you need them most!

Virgo August 23-September 22

You’ve got to tackle the clutter in a new way — even if it’s not your own clutter! Try to offer your family some advice (or an ultimatum) and see what happens from there. Things can change for the better now!

Libra September 23-October 22

You can see into a friend or family member a bit more deeply now and that should lead to more open communication, to say the very least. It’s a great time to build bridges and move on with life.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21

You feel inspired to redo your look or redecorate your space, though you should put a bit more thought than usual into the process, especially if the inspiration is a radical departure from the past.

Sagittarius November 22-December 21

You can get along really well with your people now and it’s a great time to make plans together and see if you can dream up a few projects to work on together. Put that energy to good use!

Capricorn December 22-January 19

Now is great for incremental changes — nothing too radical, though! You may want to get a different haircut, shift responsibilities at work or take care of some light redecorating at home.

Aquarius January 20-February 18

Your hot ideas are making life brighter and better for everyone — and it’s no secret! Don’t cover your light, because false humility is the worst kind of arrogance. Make sure that you’re talking to everyone important.

Pisces February 19-March 20

It’s kind of hard to see all the aspects of your problems or projects today and focus is even harder to come by. It may be a good time to blow off obligations and wait for another time to get back in gear. The American Mafia Newspaper is now recruiting! Think you could handle a career in professional journalism? Contact Ruggiero Tuscarella for further details or drop by the head office in New York.

Rough mafia life

As of recent there has been a spike in the numbers of sentences handed out, and the amount of time sentenced, says Chicago Circuit Court Judge Dread. “The number’s of Mafioso being busted these day’s are alarming” The judge was quoted as saying “The spike in the number’s is coming from federal agencies trying to retake the streets back from organized crime.

FBI spokesman Bob Daniel’s stated that “The FBI is has launched an operation called ‘Operation Cleanup’ to rid our street’s of the evil’s of organized crime.” But the Mafioso aren’t going down without a fight either. In the past two day’s alone over fifty police officers and federal agent’s have sustained injuries attempting to arrest suspects. “The Mafioso appear to be just as determined to run the street’s as we are” stated Chicago mayor, Ben Reeves. “The increase of drug trafficking. felonies, mugging’s, petty crimes and murders have been on the rise for the past six month’s, and it’s time for the government to fight back” he also added. It has been obvious to us all the increase of bust, security at the local jails, and the length of the sentences the government is trying to prevail, but will they be able to? LETTER TO THE EDITOR:

Dear Editor,

This is an anonymous fan of the Gazette. I was walking along the streets on LA to my office and I couldn’t help but take a peek at the Gazette. I’d like to say the Gazette is so good, and an amazing read in the crapper. Keep up the good work! I’d like to remain anonymous for reasons I won’t tell you and hope it’s not a problem.


Johnny-Walker. *Crosses Johnny-Walker out frantically and re-writes* Signed,

Anonymous extremely good looking and smart fan. CLASSIFIED ADS

Anyone wishing to submit an ad should mail it to Ruggiero_Tuscarella, Editor of the Mafia Times in New York. All ads are free.