Year: 2009

NEW YEARS DAY SPECIAL EDITION

FROM THE EDITOR

Hi folks. First of all Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year.

From today we also will close our office until 2nd January and after that we’ll continue our work. Also in this edition we added some few jokes as well.

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The New Year may be a significant event for many people. But the absurdities of the celebration cannot escape a skeptic’s mind. Here are some funny New Year quotes. What better way to start a New Year than with a hearty laugh? You can share your joy by greeting everybody with these funny New Year quotes.

Mark Twain

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

Brooks Atkinson

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

Bill Vaughan

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

P. J. O’Rourke

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

Jay Leno

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

James Agate

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Eric Zorn

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

Bill Vaughan

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Charles Lamb

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

Oprah Winfrey

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

Mark Twain

New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Judith Crist

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.

Anonymous

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Joey Adams

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

Anais Nin

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

Oscar Wilde

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Robert Paul

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.

Anonymous

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Leonard Bernstein

From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.

G. K. Chesterton

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterward. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ‘I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?’

‘Aha, you’ll know tonight,’ answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight , as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: ‘The meaning of dreams’.

New Year’s Day Party – That Never Was?

As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Janet and Jim, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.

Hoping to keep the peace Jim ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.

Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Jim. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Jim told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0.

‘See?’ Janet said happily, ‘You didn’t miss a thing.’

New Year – Key Questions

How to tell that you have entered a new year:

You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.

Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

Spend more time with the family.

Take more exercise – Get fit.

Lose (loose!) weight.

Give up smoking (again).

Get out of dept.

Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby.

Put something into the community -help others.

Get organized. Else buy shares in diary, or companies selling electronic planners!
Become more security conscious.

Give up drinking, at least for the first week of January!

Well folks, this was the last AmericanMafia Times Newspaper edition in this year of 2009.

We all wish you a great and awesome New Year Day and don’t forget us. We are always here to write stories, without you I would be with no job, seriously.

Ruggiero Tuscarella

The Editor

UNDERWORLD DEATHS

After the death of Godfather DeTorre, Mr Tommy Lee took over his place and since that only few gangster has died.

We wonder why is that? A lot of mobsters have tried to accomplish peace into underworld but nobody has ever done it.. is Mr Tommy Lee the first one? Maybe.. at least lets hope so.

But still like I said.. few got killed too recently.. and first of them was Goomba called hammer5 who died on 4th of December at 4:47 pm in Illinois.

The next day also a Goomba got wiped out in California, named as Lester-Gills. We know about him only that he had a big mouth and he had some problems with drugs.

Ofcourse the biggest death took place in New York when a female mobster called Gior was whacked just like that. Gior was married to Al-Capone who is now a Caporegime of Barzini Crime Family. Also there was a reward over 200k for any information about the murder. But we know how it works.. murders like that one will never be revealed again. I heard that Gior’s daughter is now connected to the underworld and rumors are that maybe Lester’s son will marry with her.

The last new’s are that a lot of new high ranked mobster have died again. Kato_Forn was a very brutal and at the same time very generous mobster, but on 19th of December he got whacked. Before him our most feared and true legend mobster Albert_JR known as JR Crime family Godfather was also whacked in his restaurant eating a meal. After this murder, hell broke out. Bullets started to blast around every street you could go and it was like a true disaster.

Paulie Tomassino, a good friend of Albert JR bought a ticket to Colorado after hearing the death of his friend. When he arrived into Colorado a three gunmen waited him and shot him to death as he stepped down from train.

Also an Earner of Barzini Crime Family, actually a Caporegime called Salvatore_Rizzuto was also brutally killed in New York. Well as we all know, it was our well known Mr. Tony S. Why he was killed.. we don’t know yet.

Later more mobsters were killed and bullets were shot. One thing was sure.. it was a war between families for power and to be Boss of Bosses.

FAMILY CALLED THE ALLIANCE

We know that a family called The Alliance is ruled by a thug called monster-kody who is married with LexiRae.

We have got few anonymous letters saying that The Alliance is a family who recruits new members in it and then just kills them.

After reading those letters I constantly got in touch with local police detective and asked about it.

Mr. O’Shea said only that The Alliance is not an underworld crime family, its more like giving a hand to newbies and nobody should afraid of them.

OLD GODFATHER IS BACK

Old retired Godfather Mr. Tony S seems to be back in underworld as we recognized him and his Buick in front of Waldorf Palace. After a little detective work I got his new name and its Salvatore Rizzuto and old Godfather is working with Barzini Crime Family.
I sent him a message where I wanted to meet him for an interview but he declined it by saying his too busy with the family work.

Well I don’t know what is he doing with the Barzini’s and I don’t care.. all I know is that his back and seems this time he wont leave anymore.

FROM THE EDITOR

Hi folks.. I Ruggiero Tuscarella wanted to say I am back in business baby. Sorry you all had to wait so long.. I was on vacation and we had some other problems. But first, of course..let’s get on with the news..

UNDERWORLD MASSACRE

Our very well known and feared Godfather DeTorre got killed on 28th of November at 04:40 am in Texas. After starting to investigate this murder, I contacted a family leader called Mr. Tommy Lee, who is the Boss of Barzini crime family.

I asked him about this murder and after some time, he told me that he gave the order to assassinate Godfather DeTorre. But he also said why he did that and I believe he did good this time.. at least a lot of people think that way. Godfather DeTorre was killed in his own Mansion, when three killers walked into his house and blasted few rounds into Dons body. He died immediately and there was nothing to hope..

NEW FAMILIES IN RISE

After the terrified death of Godfather DeTorre, new families have rised from the darkness. Well known Godfather Alber JR, stepped out on to the streets and announced that he made a family called JR Crime Family. And of course everybody who wants to join should just take contact with him.

I also know that there’s a new crime family called Barzini Crime Family.. and they are also waiting applications. So folks.. who wants to join.. you have a lot of new families where to join.

CITIZEN CALLED ANTHONY S
I have got at least hundreds if not thousands letters from our dear readers, asking about Tony S.. where is he? Did he leave us? And so on..

Well dear readers.. I have to say one thing to you.. I DON’T KNOW!

Because I don’t have any contacts with him whatsoever. I really hope that he will be back with us, because I really loved his stories that he wrote to me.

Well let’s hope.. maybe the star will shine again.

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If you got something to advertise or anything to tell about someone or something.. please let me know and if its proper for this newspaper I will publish it.

FROM THE EDITOR

Hi folks. My name is Ruggiero Tuscarella and I am still the chief editor of Mafia Times newspaper. Since last time we didn’t published any Tabloid news then this time we did it and I hope you all like it. And I myself are still waiting applications from you who wants to become an reporter for Mafia Times newspaper. So drop it to my mailbox. But on with the news…

SACRA CORONA UNITA DEAD

Well folks, as you may all knew that Sacra Corona Unita crime family was the biggest one in US. Everybody were happy and members kept coming in.. but one day it all vanished away when their leader Godmother Mariella got whacked in Nevada at 10:09 am.

Godmother Mariella was at her mansion doing some business with local crooks when suddenly a van arrived in front of her crib and four members jumped out of it, starting a fire against Godmother Mariella bodyguards who were taken down within seconds. Now Mariella understood that something was wrong and she grabbed a pistol .38 and waited in the office. When assassins blew up the door where Mariella was she instantly started a fire against them by hitting one of them in the head. Other three started fire back and finally shot to death Mariella, where bullet went through her right eye. To be sure, one of those killers made a final shot through her mouth. They then left the mansion and droved away in the alley.

Why the Godmother was killed we dont know.. but the local police DP chief Mr. Rawley McCoughney said to us that they are investigating the murder and they already have arrested one suspect, but they cant tell the name or any other information about the murder.

We at the Mafia Times office will be in touch with the police and let you all know as soon as we get more information about the case.

NEW TWO FAMILIES IN TOWN

Well known Mr. Tommy Lee has been doing well. After his leaving from the Sacra Corona Unita he started his own gang, called Lucchese Crime Family. And we also know that shortly after his moving to new playground Godmother Mariella was whacked. Are these two things combined?! We dont know for sure, but maybe police should check it out.. maybe Tommy couped his own old Boss, who knows.

Second family who started their business is Rosa dei Venti, acting boss is Roscoe_DeTorre. Seems that when Godmother were killed all family members were left on the streets and Roscoe decided to get them under his wing. And it seems he has done a well job, because almost all old members from Sacra Corona Unita is joined with him. What will bring the future for these two crime families? I dont know, but I do know that a Godfather known as killing_you, stated on the streets that the WAR is not over and that he will whack everyone if he have to.. We believe that he believes in justice.

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE TOP BUSINESS OWNERS:

carleonesi – 5 businesses

Tommy_Lee – 4 businesses

SilvioPatriarca – 2 businesses

Roscoe_DeTorre – 2 businesses

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We are still waiting from our dear readers to advertise something. Dont be afraid and just drop me a message. Also since our lost reporter got killed, we are still in search for another good reporter.

SOCRA CORONA UNITA

Since Godfather Tony S died, few mobsters tried to take control of the US underworld. Some of those bigshots were Michael_Rocca, Joey_Zasa, Tommy-Lee etc. And when they died, then Michael_Rocca climed up really fast and became Boss of the Socra Corona Unita crime family. Somehow he managed to pull together a lot of good mobsters around the US into his family and after that, a lot of thugs started to die like flies. I have got many letters from our dear readers complaining about how Socra Corona Unita killing innocent people and thugs. All what we know at the Office is that at the moment when I gathered the material for this edition Socra Corona Unita was the biggest family in United States of underworld.

But as usually it doesnt matter how big your family is or who is in it.. eventually if you whack too much people.. you will get a lot of heat because of that. And that was the start when Socra Corona Unita started to fall.. members started to die one by one.. Even their own Boss got whacked finally.. the hole family was shaken down.. shaken down by furious sons of lately fallen fathers.

MAFIA TIMES NEWSPAPER MEMBER KILLED

Our beloved reporter Mr. Shawn ODoil got killed in Texas, at 06:00 am. We know one thing that he actually worked for Mafia Times and later joined also the Socra Corona Unita crime family. Who killed him or why he died? Nobody knows and we at the Mafia Times ofcourse are sorry for this loss, but he also betrayed us by joining with the organized crime family.

HIGH RANKED MEMBERS DEAD

Recent actions take place around the US. A lot of bigshots started to die again.
First were Earner called dichead, killed in Colorado at 10:45 am. Next death were in Florida, mobster called boy_boy died at 2:09 pm. Three minutes later few miles somewhere else but also in Florida, gangster called PoLice911 was shot to death aswell. And half an hour later, one high ranked mobster, actually a Capo called Lord_Wizard got whacked also in Florida at 2:34 pm.

One hour later, the well known Socra Corona Unita famile leader Michael_Rocca was stabbed to death in Illinois at 3:19 pm. Nobody knows why died, but rumours are that he got whacked because of his well known temper.

And later the same day Socra Corona Unita lost another good mobster, called martin89 who was at the rank of Boss. He was killed in Oklahoma at 3:49 pm.

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE TOP BUSINESS OWNERS:

carleonesi – 5 businesses

All the others are still dead and new ones are afraid to purchace new businesses.

ADVERTISEMENT

We are still waiting from our dear readers to advertise something. Don’t be afraid and just drop me a message. Also since our lost reporter got killed, we are still in search for another good reporter.

CONSIGLIERE FOUND DEAD

A very known crime family leader Baross got killed on 18th of August at 3:44 pm in New York. At the moment we haven’t got anything much to know, since police didn’t want to talk to us. So I guess this case remains unsolved for the moment.

GODFATHER’S WIFE KILLED

We all know the Godfather Tony S, who controls the New York and is one of many Godfathers in US. He got married some time ago with a beautiful woman called Giordano, Sofia. On 18th of Aug at 3:37 pm she was brutally killed in New York. Nobody still knows what happened or what cause her death.

We at the Office, feel sorry for his loss.

SICILIA – TRUE STORY

By: Michael_Marogiacomo

I came to this country with a dream and that dream were to make a difference and tell storys with great empathy and respect. Now on the last years of my life i moved to New York USA hoping to make my dream true. My childhood mostly were beatings from my alcohol decentralized padre and theft from the local fruitstand. In my young years I wanted a career in the local Famiglia and on my 14th birthday I joined the Messina Famiglia as an errand boy. By the time I had my 20th birthday I already had 16 murders on my back and now were a Capo Regime. The years past by and now I were 45 years old with almost 236 murders on my back. One day the famiglia Don called upon me for a sitdown. My heartbeat were easy over 500bpm. I thought the sitdown were about my last mission to kill a 25 year old beautiful lady named Belladonna. She had accidentally seen the Dons right hand man murder the local Prosecutor Vincent Lorenzo. And my job were to murder Miss Belladonna and make it look like she slipped in the shower. I went in to her apartment when she stepped in to the shower. I stood in the corner and watched her closely and fell in love in a second. She looks up and sees me, she drops the soap and asked me are you here to kill me. I stood like a statue, dropped the gun and a tear ran down my cheek. I left her apartment.

I went back several hours later and gave her a one way ticket to Miami. I told her I would meet her there at the hotel 3 days later. The day of the sitdown I found out by my Soldato Gino Lerzane that the famiglia Don were planing to kill me at the sitdown because of my last mission. I went home and started to think about how I could fix this. I decided to take the Don out before he killed me. Now its 9 pm and 30 minutes left until the sitdown starts.

I looked at my gun and at the bar were the sitdown were held. I went up to the door and kicked it open, pointed my gun at the Don and pulled the trigger. I clean shoot to the head and the Don went down. The others in the Famiglia looked at me and said my name Godfather Michael Marogiacomo. Now Im 78 years old and writing down my life story. I have 6 children and have been married 13 times.
Yesterday I got a letter from my doctor. I have cancer and at the most 6 months left to live.

CONFESSIONS OF A SERIAL KILLER

Nowadays, the lure of becoming a hired gun is just too great. Everyone aspires to be the fastest and the most accurate gun in the land, even if many wont admit it in public. Why? I mean, killers eventually die, its just the way of the world. I must admit, for me, the first time I really got the hook in my mouth was by accident. I didn’t go out intentionally to hurt people, not initially. I just found myself in a few gunfights, as this life can assure you of, and discovered a natural talent.

At the time, I was able to control my urges, even able to forget about them altogether. But, as time passed, and I ranked higher, and my aim improved, things turned worse I got cravings. I’d be searching for targets constantly, without thought for their family or friends. At first I was just searching, and not shooting them, convincing myself I was just doing it for practice. Then the odd one or two ended up dead “Then every target I was looking for.”

It became an addiction. Always looking for my next kill. I didn’t used to be like this, I was a peaceful man, a negotiator. Its strange what having a good aim does to you, makes you feel you HAVE to use it, or you may lose it I don’t know what it is, but for me, the beast wasnt even awakened until I realized it was there. By that time it was too late. Now, no matter how hard I try, no matter how straight I try to play things, I always turn back to the same old game. Find a target, kill it. Find a target, kill it.

I hope one day to cure myself of this terrible addiction, but for now, I am a serial killer, and that is all I know how to be.

FROM THE EDITOR

Ruggiero Tuscarella

Hi guys and gals. Another time to say that we still recruiting reporters. So feel free to drop me a letter about it. I have the honour to introduce you all our new reporter Shawn_ODoil, we all hope he wont die because his really good at what his doing. But okey, on with the news..

DEATHS OF THE UNTOUCHABLES

by Shawn ODoil

The Mafia community morns on the anniversary of 9/11 as many of its high ranked members are killed. It started around noon on the 10th of September with Vinz Gigante a consiglere being killed in New York. The next day more deaths followed with Pablo Escobar a don in Texas, Giuseppe Petrosino a consigliere in Colorado. On that same day in California IGotshot, Nick Gerassi, Barzini and Pharicon, were murdered all of which were above the rank of earner. When I started asking around one of my sources had this to say “Tommy started to whack high ranked members because he wants to help the new members of the community. But in my personal opinion he just wanted to become Boss of Bosses. He was a scared little boy.” Shortly after that two more powerful members were killed, both were Godfathers. Joey Zasa the leader of the La Cosa Nostra Family and his left hand man Tommy-Lee both were killed by another Godfather who refused to tell me his reason behind the killings. I also had the opportunity to interview Joey Zasa’s widow and the new leader of the La Cosa Nostra family Mariella. When I asked about her husband and Tommy’s death she said it was because certain members were afraid that our community was going to be ran by these new Godfathers. Mariella also informed me that the La Cosa Nostra family would survive since Joey and Tommy killed all the other families. Which leads this reporter to believe that all of these killings were just a attempt to maintain a dominance on who is actually in charge.

THE STORY OF FRANKIE FIGS

by Shawn ODoil

On a warm summer day tired of the daily grind and being mugged for the second time in a week Frankie decided to go out and buy a gun and take back the streets. Being new to the underworld he made friends with a family leader by the name of Chev Chelios. Both men decided to combine their families in order to make the streets a little safer. The two families worked well together taking in run of the mill street thugs. Frankie thought that by giving these punks a place to stay, a little money with some odds and ends jobs he could reform them. For a while it worked, there were less muggings and murders. Then oneday a member of Chevy’s family called Frankie and informed him that his friend had been killed. Frankie was outraged to hear this, so he called his family and order them to find the one responsible for this travesty. In just a few short days the family right hand man Beastie Boy told Frankie that he had found the guilty man and his name was popedaddy! With the Landstrom family on the look out popedaddy was found right in Frankie’s own state Florida. On that day Frankie became a murderer and killed popedaddy. Feeling satisfied that his friends death had been avenged, Frankie went to his family bar, the Drunken Irishman to have a few pints and tried to forget the whole deal. A hour later Frankie heard someone knocked on the door. He opened the door and saw a block of C-4 with a crude timer on it. Out of instinct he turned and ran for the kitchen door. He reached the door just as the bomb blew up and messed up the hole place. As the bar burned around him, he struggled to pull himself into one of the freezers. The next morning with the bar in ashes, members of the Landstrom family gathered around with the realizing that their family was finished and the protection they felt was gone. Being the senior member of the family, Beastie Boy walked through the remains looking for any type of token to remember his time with the family and what it had done for him. Hearing a noise coming from the back where the kitchen was, Beastie went to check it out and found an arm sticking out of one of the freezers. Feeling a cold chill run down his back, he ripped the door open and found Frankie barely breathing. Knowing that this was an attack on Frankie’s life, Beastie took Frankie to his sisters house to get him back to normal health. A month passed by and with Frankie’s health back to normal, he informed his friend that it was time for him to return from the so called grave and put an end to all of these murders. As Frankie walked out the door of his friends house he looked over his shoulder and said, this time there cant be no family and no one else involved. Beastie rushed to the door and asked what are we going to do. Frankie stopped and looked at him and said, take one hundred thousand from the family account and I will take the rest. One last thing before I go said Beastie, don’t call me Frankie. With that he turned and started to walk down the street with only one thought on his mind. Frankie died in that bar and that’s it.

A NEW FAMILY TAKES OVER

by Shawn ODoil

After the fall of Mr Tony`s family, La Stidda Mafia, chaos took the community. Any and almost all newcomers are being killed. With noone in a seat of power to protect them, it has been a dangerous time to be a thug. Recently powerful members who allegedly were killing these newcomers were put to rest by a particularly powerful Godfather named Fish. Shortly after that Mr. fish suffered the same fate. In the absence of power a new family has stepped up, The Anastasia Crime Family ruled by Albert Jr. has taken the seat of power in our community. After numerous attempts to contact Mr. Albert Jr., the family underboss Muerte contacted me for a interview. During the interview Muerte informed me that the Anastasia family intends to put an end to all of the murders of the lower ranked members of our community. Muerte also informed me that her family intends to establish much the same rules that the La Stidda Mafia had and allow the younger members gain rank. Even thou the Anastasia family is small but majority of its members are experienced mafioso`s. As the interview came to an end, Muerte informed me as the acting boss of the family and while their Godfather Albert Jr. is away on business she is the law and anyone that does not obey the law will suffer the consequences.
Shortly after I finished the interview and this story, Mr. Tuscarella called me and said that Anastasia Crime Family went to war with Sacra Corona Unita and that Mrs. Muerte got killed in California. Also Anastasia Crime Family capo, well known Anthony_S got assassinated in New York.

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE TOP BUSINESS OWNERS:

carleonesi – 5 businesses

brooklyn – 1 business

And the rest businessmen who were lined up last week, well they got whacked.

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If you think you have something to advertise, then let us know and it will be advertised in newspaper.

Of course racism, pornography or something like that wont be published.

Greetings, everyone. We still recruiting reporters for our beloved AmericanMafia Times Newspaper, so if feel you’re the right person.. then send me the application. But until you do that.. I will let you read the news..

MORE DEATHS
The more time goes by, the more people getting killed, at least here in our community. I don’t know what is going on or what is causing it, but I do know that this isn’t good for our society. People are still dieing and a lot of them. Maybe it’s should be like that maybe not..or maybe it’s a war?! All I know is that on 1st of Sept. at 6:19pm, a Wiseguy called Jimmy_Burke got whacked in California. The very next day a Goomba called Ralphi69 was also shot to death in Illinois. We at the Mafia Times believe that these two deaths are connected but we don’t have proof enough to publish, at least for now.. maybe later in the future we will.

On 3rd of Sept. gunshots were hearded again in California, this time it was a bloody war. Not only one mobster died, but a lot more, actually sixteen of them. First mobster falled down at 11:40am called Gino_Andolini. A statement was made on the streets after this death and a member called Illuminati said that Gino Andolini’s death were ordered by Makky and Dirty_Harry.

At 1:03pm the same mobster who ordered the death of Gino Andolini called Dirty_Harry was now shot to death himself. He was killed in a barber shop while getting a haircut. We believe that a mobster called Vic_Mackey was behind the assassination.. and we know that Dirty Harry was killed because he broke the rules.

Well anyway 20 minutes later, Vic_Mackey was murdered. He got two bullets in the head and three went into his body. Rumours are that a member JoeySantorielli of a crime family called La Stidda Mafia arrived into the scene and killed Vic. But why Vic was killed by JoeySantorielli? Some say that Joey got order from his Godfather to whack Vic, some say that Joey revenged and some doesn’t say anything because they aren’t stupid enough and want to live.

After Vic’s assassination, New York Godfather Tony S arrived in California who came to check something, I believe the murders what else.. but while he was there and enjoyed the hole thing, his own member JoeySantorielli tried to coup him. But since Godfather had his bodyguards with him, then Godfather didn’t even got a scratch. The gunfight went out and bodyguards killed JoeySantorielli at 10:55 pm.

THE_GRIN_REAPER – Hole Truth

We remember our beloved fella from our community called GrinReaper.. Well now he decided to tell out the hole truth about his past.

The_Grin_Reaper – I hired Makky to kill Marko_Gambino and to kill Tony’s wife. The truth will set me free, I have killed many in my time and I killed MR.Makky. John Paul I hope you do make priest.

This is what he said out and we hope he didn’t caused any troubles for himself. We wish him a good luck from Mafia Times.

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE TOP BUSINESS OWNERS:

1.Carleonesi – 5 businesses

2.Pablo_Escobar – 5 businesses

3.Vinz_Gigante – 5 businesses

4.Giuseppe_Petrosino – 5 businesses

5.Albert-Anastasia – 4 businesses

6.Igotshot – 2 businesses

7.Mr_TonyS – 2 businesses

8.Pharicon – 2 businesses

9.brooklyn – 1 business

MAKKY’S HITLIST PUBLISHED

We got a letter from a citizen who sent us a hitlist of Makky’s. Makky is a very known hitman who killed a lot of people and now we got his hitlist. So we decided to publish it..why not!

1. EROCk

2. Addicted

3. Minacs

4. Bravo

5. Barrotes

6. UnderRated

7. morty

8. Mr_Ribento

9. Nikolai_Petrov

10. Chev_Chelios

11. bigblackandbeautiful

12. best_of_the_best

13. Frankie_Figs

14. Nikolai-Petrov

15. AlexandeR

16. Giordano

17. Baross

18. Big_P*ssy

19. Marko_Gambino

20. Don_Hutto

21. Lizzard

22. Bob_Marley

23. Glenn_Quagmire

Well folks this was the hitlist of Makky. Ofcourse we cant say 100 percent sure that he did killed them all or will, but at least maybe few who lost something in this community did got their answers finally.

Well folks, another time for next edition. I have to be honest with you all.. it’s not that simple to write all these editions to you and every week. We have got complaints, true…, but please be so understanding and let us do our work. So on with the news…

RECENT MOB DEATHS

Mobster called popedaddy was killed on August 10th at 10:15 am in Florida. He was known as the SAINTS Family leader, who took things seriously and solved problems brutally, he had everything that one leader need to rule a crime family. But at that day he was brutally killed in his own restaurant at Mulberry street. We asked around about this death and nobody seemed to know anything or they just were so afraid not to tell. But one thing is clear as cristal water that his dead. But how he died? We don’t know.
Ofcourse we asked from Police Department but they were also speechless about this current murder. Maybe they were involved with this crime, maybe not.. Who are we to discuss about it.

At the same day Frankie_figs who was also local high criminal figure, got killed at 11:39 pm. He was also murdered in Florida. Maybe these two deaths are connected, but since we’re not detectives we can’t tell you the hole truth, because we don’t know the hole truth. So who were behind these two murders in Florida? Was it a local hitman or a hired from another state? Until further investigations we can only hope that police will do they work and the hitman will get behind the bars.

CALIFORNIA UNDERWORLD

Something is very strange about that California. We recently wrote you about Godfathers deaths in that state and now more are dieing. A Capo called Nikolai-Petrov was killed on 11th of Aug at 8:50 pm. When our local reporter went on the crime scene for some material for the paper, he saw how a black car he recognized it as Rolls-Royce drove away behind the building where mobster were killed. We ofcourse don’t know was it related to this murder or not, but we believe it was someone who checked was the work finished.
A high ranked member from New York Crime Family, called La Stidda Mafia was also killed in California. His name was AlexandeR and he was a captain in that family. We asked about his death from New York Godfather Mr. Tony S who said that he sent AlexandeR in California about some business and AlexandeR didn’t came back. We asked what was the business.. ofcourse Godfather didn’t told us. But he stated that whoever knows anything about this murder got any info will get rewarded.

So why AlexandeR was killed? Some witness they saw a three men walking into the building and later coming out, some witness they saw a car with black windows arriving in front of the building.. and some witness they didn’t saw anything.

NEW! – JOKE OF THE DAY

Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, “I”m sorry to bother you, but I”m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket.”

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I”ve got a better idea… just for tonight, let”s pretend we”re married.”

The woman thinks for a moment. “Why not,” she giggles.

“Great,” he replies, “Get your own damn blanket!”

WEDDINGS, THE NEWEST TREND?

For the last few months we had not seen a single blushing bride on our streets. And then, with what appeared to be the romantic feelings stirred from Valentines day, we had no less than three people express their desire to marry.

Mafia weddings have long been a „Tradition“ of sorts on our streets, generally the couple meets in a bar and has a long drawn out relationship/courting session. Eventually the man will pop the question and then the announcement would be made. It would take time to plan the wedding, making sure everything was just right.

The last wedding these streets saw done properly was Giordano and Godfather Mr_TonyS. They were married in a simple, yet elegant wedding with all of their closest friends. They did it the correct way, instead of this „Hey, I feel like being noticed in the streets, lets get married!“

So with the wedding trend on what appears to be the up and up, is this the beginning of the end for our sanity? This reporter, who happens to hate weddings, will keep you updated.

AMERICANMAFIA TIMES NEW YORK UNOFFICIAL OFFICE

We at the Mafia Times Newspaper decided to open unofficial office in New York city, where you can all stop by and send us your stories/columns. As you also know, where are still recruiting new reporter’s and at this point I’m proud to announce you all our first reporter Mr.Ribento.

WE HEAR THAT

Gossip column by: Mr_TonyS.

….GrinReaper was seen in the “Dance, Dance, Dance!” store this morning looking at pink tutus and Sequined things with large ruffles and bows. He came out muttering something about Figure skating and how he has to work on his camel toe…Interpret that how you wish.

….Makky was at the grocery store around 3 am this morning in nothing but assless chaps. What section did he run too? Produce. He carried on a conversation with a cucumber before selecting it, and running out with it in his “pants”.

….AlexandeR was kicked out of the high school. You remember how coaches would yell “Everyone hit the showers” Well when the girls would skip in there or do whatever the hell high school girls do, AlexandeR Would be standing in the corner stall Naked as a jaybird singing show tunes to himself. At first the girls we curious about this man, but after a while, and a horrible rendition of Cats, they had to tell their teacher.
AlexandeR was escorted out of the School, but got the gym teachers number.

INTERVIEW WITH A CITIZEN

Our this week guest and person we interviewed is Agent_47. His known as helpful and experienced member in our community. We sent him a message to meet us in Hilton’s for a little interview and he agreed. As we all sat down I started to ask some questions about how he found this site, who is the most experienced player, what he thinks about Mafia Times etc..and this is what he answered eventually..

„I have been playing this game for almost one year and 5-6 months. I first heard of this game when I was playing some other mafia based game, I saw an ad, I clicked and here I am. Well, most expirienced players (alive) are of cource Mr_TonyS and Albert JR. There are more experienced players, but these two are best in my opinion. I think that Mafia Times Newspaper is really interesting, I read it always and I would recommend it to everyone.

I do have something to say to readers and that is that, if you want to level and be somebody, be loyal, and play quietly, don’t rock the boat and you will be just fine. By that I mean don’t insult other players, do not kill nobody. Killers will always wind up getting killed.“

After the interview Agent_47 drove away in his car and we went back to office.

MYSTERYMAN’S RETURN

So-called MysteryMan stepped out today to the streets and stated his return into our community. Few citizen’s who passed by and heard the story didn’t even seemed to be thrilled about it.

Our last article about him was when he was killed a while ago in California. Now he returned and claimed that because of him a lot of people in our community will start dieing. Few even has already died, but at this point nobody can prove that he was behind those murders. Since we all know that he usually hires somebody for dirty jobs, nobody can’t do anything.. only hope and pray.

FROM THE EDITOR

Greetings gents and ladies. Another week has passed and we decided to publish another edition for you.

I hope you all like it..

MOB DEATHS REACH BLOODY HIGH

After what appeared to be a more peaceful period in our country’s violent organised crime history, eventshave taken a new bloody toll.

While I was sitting in my Chicago office writing another edition for Mafia Times, I got phone call from my reporter who was in California. I was shocked when I heard the news.. Three high ranked mobster were killed.. first who died was don-vito at 02:13 am. Don-Vito was a local Godfather, his Crime Family called Sicilians were very big and brutal gang, who killed just for fun to remain power in the city. We don’t know yet why he was killed or was it a suicide..

Only five minutes later, our very first Godmother Zombiee was also brutally killed. We believe that it was a war between local Godfather’s about whos controlling the California. After Godmother’s death, a local Don called Last_rebel got also shot to death, only five minutes later. We at the office didn’t realized what were happened or what caused it.. we all were shocked seriously. Locals citizens cried and the hole community were collapsed after this bloodshed. Nobody knew what happened and even then local Police Department didn’t knew what to do.. Ofcourse they started investigation but I don’t think that they will sort it out. It will be another unfinished investigation.
.The last death were made on 6th of August at 06:09 am in California. We got new information that it was a Don D3ath from Texas. Rumours are that he was in California due to some business and he stayed in his friends mansion. On the day of his death, local cops took few pictures and recognized a Godfather Tony S from New York city who arrived earlier into the city that day. Some are saying that Godfather is behind the assassination and some are keeping their mouth closed. On his funeral one mobster stated that he saw how a guy who looked like Godfather pulled the trigger, but also said that it was too dark to see clearly the assassins face.

THE START OF A NEW ALLIANCE

For the past few weeks, numerous actions were taken to kill off many of the Bosses located in all cities. These actions have brought an idea to a fellow resident of New York. His idea was to form an alliance force known as the NYA (New York Alliance). The NYA is an alliance of Bosses currently located in New York. The NYA would help ensure the safety of others in the community, as well as clearing the problems currently lurking in the streets.

Every Boss is obligated to take responsibilities into their own hands, no questions asked. They are also given a set of rules to follow, which should be the guideline when it comes to NYA issues. Any of those who choose not to follow the specific rules will be kicked out of the alliance and free to do as they feel with no protection. The protection provided to the NYA is particularly important, because everyone needs to be protected in times of need, as well as having an alliance with those who are fear throughout the Community.

Not much is known about who started the NYA, all we know is he is trying to form the NYA for the good of New York and not to corrupt it. In addition to information disputed, there are hopes in the future more will be known, at the moment, all we can hope is all goes well with the success of NYA.

CONSPIRACY THEORIES

So I says to the guy, “You gotta be missin’ some punches in that there time card of yours if you actually believes them crewleaders when they says that they are all about peace”.
You knows all them bosses who keep sayin’ that they wants ta talk? Well of course they are gonna say that, they want to keep their ears on straight. It’s when you gets em behind closed doors that they show their real faces. When they says to their crew that it’s family business, and they talk about the hits theys gonna be carryin’ out. I hears that “no bloodshed” means “except when it’s in retaliation”, and he’s lookin’ for some blood to settle up accounts, if yous knows what I mean.

Accounts gotta be reconciled, ain’t no one gonna argue with that, but yous gotta wonder why a crewleader has gotta lie about something like this. And if he’s willing to lie about something so little, what big skeletons has he gotta have in that giant closet of his on Fremont? You wanna talk about lights though….

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I’m an old old man, with lots of things to do for people just like you.

HOROSCOPES

GEMINI – May 22nd – June 21st

Your instincts are right on target, especially where a close friend relative is concerned. There was a time when somebody discouraged you from taking a risk. Now may be the time for you to do the same for them. Look after your friends and family this week, they are the best thing you have in life.

CANCER – June 21st – July 23rd

People always rely on you, but this week you may need someone to lean on and you will find out who you’re true friends are. Remember you are nobody’s doormat and sooner or later they will come crawling back, what goes around comes around.

LEO – July 24th – August 23rd

Donating your time, money, and resources to a worthy cause will lift your spirit this week. You may have been feeling down about things, but helping others will help you put things into perspective and make you feel better about your life.

VIRGO – August 24th – September 23rd

There are massive changes around the corner, some good, some not so good. Don’t fear though, for things will work out in the end for the best. Watch your enemies closely this week, for they may spot a weekness during these changes and decide now is the time to strike.

LIBRA – September 24th – October 23rd

The last week or so hasn’t been too good to you, but this week things are looking up as the stars send a little luck your way. Remember though, how it felt when things didn’t go your way and have a little sympathy for those down on luck this week.

SCORPIO – October 24th – November 22nd

The stars predict a small fortune coming your way, perhaps in the form of a horse, slot or lottery win? Now is a good time for you to gamble.

SAGITTARIUS – November 23rd – December 21st

You know that the public responds much more favourably to messages of hope than predictions of doom. Yes, fear is a great motivator, but it doesn’t lead to anything of lasting value. Keep this in mind when you speak publically this week to avoid trouble.
CAPRICORN – December 22nd – January 20th

Don’t react to someone’s urgent cries for help today. Can you say ‘crying wolf’? Be wary of friends asking you to help them out this week, it may be a trap. Keep your wits about you and it won’t all end in tears.

AQUARIUS – January 21st – February 19th

You’re used to pushing forward and making things happen. Every now and then, it’s all about sitting back and receiving what comes your way. You need a well earned break this week, sit back and relax, you’ll see things won’t actually fall apart without you, but carry on as you are and you are going to work yourself into an early grave. Take a vacation and do something for yourself for a change.

PISCES – February 20th – March 20th

Money gives you power, but only so much. Don’t place too much value on finances. Your bank balance may take a hit this week, don’t let this get you down for a happy ending of another kind is just around the corner.

ARIES – March 21st – April 20th

Having too many choices can be as limiting as not having enough. Sit down and eliminate the ones that are obvious bad fits or total fantasies. What you’re left with will be more than enough material for you to handle right now.

TAURUS – April 21st – May 21st

You are near a breakthrough on an important issue. Do not give up on it now as you are so close. Keep on going and the results will be worth the extra effort.

NEW! – JOKE OF THE DAY

A man feared his wife was not hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away. Let’s see what happens.” In a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response…

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again, no response….

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again, there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

She replied:

“Earl!.. for the 5th time, CHICKEN!”

FROM THE EDITOR

Greeting’s ladies and gents. As you may already all know me, I’m Ruggiero Tuscarella and here to publish Mafia Times for all of you. Lately I have got few letters from our readers, who complain about our publishing, by that I mean the time, once per week. Some of them saying that we should publish more often and some saying once per two week. Well dear readers, here is my oppinion, if you want that this paper would be published more than one time per week, start writing me stories. Everything is welcomed.
But ok, on with the news…

HIGH RANKED MOBSTER DEAD

A famous and brutal mobster so-called EL_MNTED was killed on July 21st at 06:56 am in New York. We heard a rumours that there was a price for his head and eventually someone killed him. Since New York is controlled by Godfather Tony S, we believe that his the one who is behind this assassination, but we’re not 100 percent sure.

We got an appointment with Godfather Tony S and this is what he answered to us:
„Greeting’s Mr.Tuscarella, I’m honored you’re here. Well what I got to say about EL_MNTED death? Nothing. I’ve got many complainings about him killing innocent people just for fun. And since everybody know my policy about killing, then someone had to sort it out. I told him a long time ago, not to kill for no reason, but he didn’t listened to me and now he got what he deserved.“
After the interview with Godfather Tony S, I walked out the Mansion, where Godfather lived and walked back to my Office. I started to think.. maybe EL_MNTED really deserved that?

CRIME FAMILY BOSS KILLED

Mr. Five_Finger_Jon, Boss of Landstrom crew was killed on 21 of July at 08:56 am. Exactly 2 hours after big assassination in New York. At this point when our reporters wrote this thread, nobody knew exactly why crew leader was killed. But after few hours investigation, the local Police Department Chief Mr. Callagher told us, that the assassination took place in Texas and that Mr. Five_Finger_Jon was shot to death with a .38 calibre gun. He also stated that nobody is arrested at the moment, but they do have a few stripes to pull.

GODFATHER STEPS DOWN

Our very first Godfather, called Bronco_Joe, announced today that he will step down and return back to the civilian public life.

This is what he stated on the streets: “ Yes, I’ve decided to return to the civilian public life in order to help our states and cities better. I seriously need to work on the infrastructure of our cities and help every single soul I can. I’m an old old man, with lots of things to do for people just like you.
And yes: I was the first Godfather…“
We wish good luck and best wishes to our first Godfather in his life.

UNEMPLOYMENT HITS RECORD HIGH

Government officials yesterday reluctantly announced that unemployment figures across the US have hit a record high. With more and more immigrants pouring in from the East, the economy has been pushed to breaking point, with employers favouring hiring the immigrants as they can pay them as little as a quarter of what they would pay an average American.

With the unemployment so rife, citizens have been more inclined to turn to crime to earn their wage, with street gangs and organized „Mob families“ on the rise. Crime rates are reaching a new peak, and with prohibition forcing the trade in illegal alcohol, Police are fearing they will be outnumbered by at least 3 to 1 by the end of the year by crime families setting up „speakeasys“ and other illegal operations.

Many upstanding members of communities across the country are calling to the government to reconsider prohibition, especially at a time where job opportunities are at a record low. The boost that the return of the alcohol industry would bring could very well save the country, they claim.

ANIMAL CHAOS IN NY ZOO ESCAPE

Chaos was unleashed across the city of New York yesterday when Zookeepers accidentally unleashed most of the animals from the zoo. Broadway was brought to a standstill with monkeys flinging excrement at passing motorists and pedestrians, and Police reported several of their vehicles were destroyed when a rhinoceros became trapped in their car pool.

A man was savaged in Central Park as three lions rampaged through the area, destroying four park benches, a park warden reported. The man’s condition is described as serious, but stable.

Two Police officers cornered a brown bear on 5th Avenue, but had to shoot it dead after it bit clean through the arm of a bystander. Zoo officials are yet to comment at how this catastrophe came about, but it is believed from sources inside the Zoo that several of the keepers were intoxicated whilst celebrating one of their birthdays, and let the animals out for a practical joke.

As yet, there are no reported fatalities, but the injury toll is still rising.

.

Hi folks. It’s about a time to publish next edition of this week. As you may already know or understood that Mafia Times will be published once per week, including Mafia Tabloid News. But without big ado, on with the new’s..

RESPECT

No this isn’t in the sense of The homies  or chavs it is in the literal sense of the word respect and the issue of the lack of it. When I used to walk around the streets at night there was always a uneasy feeling but there was always a feeling that if anything did happen people would help you out through respect. People wouldn’t go after people solely because they were street bosses or made men they respected that these men had struggled to where they were.

Today there is disrespect everywhere I look. Random shooting is not respectful sending back the money saying thank you for helping me gain is experience is. There is disrespect every where, on the streets in prison and the other thing that upset me was the lack of respect at peoples funerals. This was upsetting and made me decide to write this article. I spoke to a few Mafioso about the matter and this is what they had to say:

Mafioso:
„ Of course.

Respect is something that I find many of our fellow Mafioso are lacking. And the reason for the decline, I am not sure. But all of my fellow Mafiosos should know, that to get to the top, to get by in this world of ours, you must show respect, before you get respect. “

One individual had this to say:

„ Well the streets are f**ked up here no one gets a chance to make it big no more random killing that ‘ s just f**ked up. “

I thanked him and let him be on his way. So is it that respect is no longer thought of by a major asset or is it just harder to earn on these new streets and are the old way soon to be extinct?

COPS METHODS QUESTIONED

Yes we all know that the local police are working hard to make life difficult for hard working Mafiosos. But some are crying foul or even fowl. Speculation is growing that police are paying some Mafioso to notify the police as to when major crimes and specifically drug purchases are happening. This is resulting in some Mafioso losing nearly their entire bankroll when the police confiscate all of their merchandise during an arrest.

When we asked the chief about using of rats or stool pigeons he declined to comment. Looking through the evidence filings it is clear that major busts of drugs are clearly on the rise. Some speculate that the dealers themselves are the ones peddling the info to the cops. They can then make the sale and get kickbacks plus have increased demand all at once.

When asked about these allegations one local Mafioso said, „ I ‘ ll tell you what I think, I think the cops are profiling!! Yes I think they are targeting shorter mobster who just HAPPEN to waddle that ‘ s what I think! “ and about the cops using stool pigeons to help in their efforts this same Mafioso barked „ Who they hell trusts a bird who can fly!! “

Whatever the case informants of profiling, one thing is clear: locals should be careful when their pockets are too heavy. The risks may outweigh the rewards.

NEW YORK SLAYINGS

New York was the scene last night of two anonymous killings. Tommy_Lucchese and Michael_Jackson were both shot by unknown assailants while going about their business.

Tommy Lucchese was being attacked in the city when Michael was made aware of the situation and flew in to aid his friend. He too was shot down soon after. As yet, no reasons for the killings have been released although it is believed they may have been gang related.

The Chief Medical Examiner, Dr Crippin stated that Michael had been in perfect health prior to his death and it had only taken one shot to kill him, although police found another two bullets at the scene of the crime.

DOCTOR’S SAVED A GANGSTER LIFE

Gaetano_Lucchese a member of La Stidda Mafia Family died earlier this morning, but doctors in the ER performed CPR on him and were able to bring him back to life.

I interviewed him after he was checked out from hospital and this is what he said to me:

„It was just like any normal day, I got up and did some crimes, but when I went to jail it was for 30 minutes. So to pass the time I decided to watch a movie. When I refreshed the page it took me to the player creation page. I was mad and confused about what just happen, so I checked the Cemetary and there I saw my name. I was pissed. So I logged off and went to the movie theater with some friends. Then after the movie I got back on and WHAM! My guy was some how still alive. At first I was speechless trying to make sense of all this, asking myself like did I really even died in the first place?“

To all of us, it seemed a little bit strange so we decided to talk with local hospital doctors, who answered that when Mr. Lucchese was arrived into hospital his heart was stopped, we believe he got a heart attack they said.

But at the moment his in good health and already back in his Mansion.

INTERVIEW WITH GODMOTHER

Our very first interview with very first Godmother Zombiee. So here it is:

Tuscarella : How you heard about the site?

Godmother: Few friends of mine told me about this nice game.

Tuscarella : Is this your first time here?

Godmother: Nope….its not my first time in here.

Tuscarella : For how long have you been here?

Godmother: Probably from the beggining.

Tuscarella : What you think about the Mafia Times?

Godmother: Its pretty complex….mind challenging.

Tuscarella : What is to be a Godmother?

Godmother: After hard work….the price is pretty amazing…like you own the city 

CLASSIFIEDS

Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Ruggiero Tuscarella at the Mafia Times Offices in Chicago and New York. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines.